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My BF wants assplay. On him. How do I anally pleasure a guy?
Question Asked by sandy669 about 1 year ago - [ Ask a Question ]
My boyfriend recently revealed that he's into buttplugs and fingering himself...I got really grossed out by the idea, but one of my girlfriends says it's a not-uncommon thing for straight guys to want assplay. I don't have the faintest idea of how to go about pleasuring a man down there...I'm willing to try, but if I find this kind of thing totally objectionable, what should I say to him?
Answer
I've met many men who said they wouldn't want their butt played with. And I've met many more guys who couldn't get enough assplay after trying it once or twice. Your boyfriend is one of those lucky guys, and that he is able to share his desires with you is fantastic! That means he respects you and trusts you enough to play with him. There are several books and DVDs on the market right now that share advice and techniques for beginners and advanced anal-lovers alike. Tristan Taormino's "Expert Guide to Anal Sex" not only gives you down lowdown on anal play, but it also shows different couples having fun (This might be an arousing video to watch with your boyfriend too). If you haven't watched him play with his butt yet, then maybe next time he can show you in the bedroom. Make it apart of the sexual experience, then, when you're ready, take turns and play with his butt too! The anus experiences different sensations than a vagina, so the usual back-and-forth approach with the finger isn't as pleasurable (most times, it never is) as sliding your finger in and making a come-hither movement. Wear latex gloves and use just a dime-sized bit of lubricant to make this comfortable for the both of you. If direct contact is uncomfortable, then slowly work your way there and start with anal toys. Benwah balls and prostate stimulators can please him, just make sure you have control over the toys, so that way you're always participating. Have him help you if he experience any discomfort. Eventually, the smile on his face will hopefully have you begging to play with his butt!
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by ExoKisa about 1 year ago
It isn't uncommon. The butt is filled with nerves and can be a source of real pleasure for both males and females. Assplay works the same way for a guy and a girl. The only difference is that men have a prostate, while women don't. The prostate is like the male equivalent of a g-spot.
Since you seem a bit squeamish, I'd recommend starting off slow. Make sure your boyfriend has cleaned himself thoroughly beforehand. An enema shouldn't be necessary, but it can't hurt. Get yourself a nice pair of gloves. It'll make clean up later a lot easier and it will also protect his ass if you have long finger nails. Use plenty of lube.
You can just move your finger around his anus to start, experimenting with different speeds and rhythms. Try gently massaging it. If all is going well, try inserting a finger. Since he's used to fingering himself, he should be able to accommodate yours easily. Ask him what he likes/wants, as in how fast or slow. Stroke his butt cheek while you work, make it sensual for yourself. Just keep an open mind and feel free to ask him for directions if you're not exactly sure how to proceed.
If this is something you absolutely cannot do, let him know. Be honest with him. Don't force yourself to do it if you're only going to make both of you feel uncomfortable afterward.