My BF wants assplay. On him. How do I anally pleasure a guy?

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My boyfriend recently revealed that he's into buttplugs and fingering himself...I got really grossed out by the idea, but one of my girlfriends says it's a not-uncommon thing for straight guys to want assplay. I don't have the faintest idea of how to go about pleasuring a man down there...I'm willing to try, but if I find this kind of thing totally objectionable, what should I say to him?

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20 Replies

Exokisa
Exokisa / Woman / Likes Men / Single

It isn't uncommon. The butt is filled with nerves and can be a source of real pleasure for both males and females. Assplay works the same way for a guy and a girl. The only difference is that men have a prostate, while women don't. The prostate is like the male equivalent of a g-spot.

Since you seem a bit squeamish, I'd recommend starting off slow. Make sure your boyfriend has cleaned himself thoroughly beforehand. An enema shouldn't be necessary, but it can't hurt. Get yourself a nice pair of gloves. It'll make clean up later a lot easier and it will also protect his ass if you have long finger nails. Use plenty of lube.

You can just move your finger around his anus to start, experimenting with different speeds and rhythms. Try gently massaging it. If all is going well, try inserting a finger. Since he's used to fingering himself, he should be able to accommodate yours easily. Ask him what he likes/wants, as in how fast or slow. Stroke his butt cheek while you work, make it sensual for yourself. Just keep an open mind and feel free to ask him for directions if you're not exactly sure how to proceed.

If this is something you absolutely cannot do, let him know. Be honest with him. Don't force yourself to do it if you're only going to make both of you feel uncomfortable afterward.

about 5 years ago · 1 Like
Xtinacicchelli
Xtinacicchelli / Woman / Likes Men / Single

I've met many men who said they wouldn't want their butt played with. And I've met many more guys who couldn't get enough assplay after trying it once or twice. Your boyfriend is one of those lucky guys, and that he is able to share his desires with you is fantastic! That means he respects you and trusts you enough to play with him. There are several books and DVDs on the market right now that share advice and techniques for beginners and advanced anal-lovers alike. Tristan Taormino's "Expert Guide to Anal Sex" not only gives you down lowdown on anal play, but it also shows different couples having fun (This might be an arousing video to watch with your boyfriend too). If you haven't watched him play with his butt yet, then maybe next time he can show you in the bedroom. Make it apart of the sexual experience, then, when you're ready, take turns and play with his butt too! The anus experiences different sensations than a vagina, so the usual back-and-forth approach with the finger isn't as pleasurable (most times, it never is) as sliding your finger in and making a come-hither movement. Wear latex gloves and use just a dime-sized bit of lubricant to make this comfortable for the both of you. If direct contact is uncomfortable, then slowly work your way there and start with anal toys. Benwah balls and prostate stimulators can please him, just make sure you have control over the toys, so that way you're always participating. Have him help you if he experience any discomfort. Eventually, the smile on his face will hopefully have you begging to play with his butt!

about 5 years ago · 1 Like
12GAUGE

12GAUGE · The 'come hither' move does work very well.

jMarie
jMarie / 28 / Woman / Likes Men / In a relationship

Wow, I think this is more common than I realized. I just posted a similar question about my guy. He wants to be locked in a chastity device (for weeks!!) and have me take him wih a strap-on. I thought those were only for lesbians but I guess I was wrong. I don't have any advice but at least we know there are others out there with the same desires.

over 2 years ago · 1 Like
Jojooome123

Jojooome123 · Honestly, most men, including me, love assplay. The easiest way to satisfy a man anally is to actually finger his anus with two fingers, or even a metal dildo (because the dildos for women feel to wierd). Do this whiling sucking him off and he'll be going nuts. The first time I tried it, I came in like 8 minutes, and i'm a man who lasts about 39 minutes!

12GAUGE

12GAUGE · With her finger inside me or nice dong I blow my nut load twice as long and twice as hard with long ribbons of cum like the porno stars do. After a cum like that I am worthless for the rest of the day/nite.

jMarie

jMarie · You sound a lot like my guy in that respect. :)

12GAUGE

12GAUGE · Well don't take this the wrong way JM cuz it ain't meant that way...But when you give your man a cum like that remember one thing.....IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!! And to that end I wish I had a gf LIKE YOU!!!!!

Rage
Rage / 29 / Man / Likes Women / Single

I can definitely say that I enjoy a little ass play. Rimming is a great way to do it... if you move into penetration, be easy about it at first. Perhaps a finger or something... And use lube! Lube is ever critical.

over 2 years ago · 1 Like
12GAUGE

12GAUGE · I was 18 or 19 the first time I got a Rim Job. He was blowing me when he started rimming me and I went BOZO NUTS!!!!! It was my first ever BJ and it was MARVELOUS. I had never felt so turned on in my young life. But for the next 20 minutes or so that he Rimmed me it felt a million times better than the BJ of The Century!!!

12GAUGE

12GAUGE · PS- Good Oral, Good Cook and a long talented tongue are very nice attributes for a successful relationship. :D

AmandaS
AmandaS / Woman / Likes Men / Single

You might have been grossed out by the initial idea, but the truth is that assplay is actually very clean and can be extremely pleasurable -- for the guy and for the girl. It helps if you and your BF have emptied your bowels prior to a given sex session. To stimulate his anus, you can use your finger(s) with your saliva; don't be afraid to penetrate his anus as deeply as your finger(s) can go; and don't be afraid to use all four fingers of your hand. This can give him extreme pleasure and probably will cause him to have one or multiple ejaculations of cum, especially if you are sucking the shaft of his cock at the same time that you are fingering his anus. You might be surprised to learn that your BF can give you the most intense pleasure you will ever experience in your life by either fingering your asshole or tongue-fucking your asshole or having anal sex with you. Your anus and rectum can actually accommodate many more inches of penis penetration than your vagina can, plus there is no risk of pregnancy with anal sex. Enjoy and have fun!

over 2 years ago · 1 Like
Alias
Alias / 25 / Man / Likes Women / In a relationship

An ass is extremely sensitive and a lot of guys like to have it stimulated. The way to do it is different for every guy so try something and just ask him how it feels. If he told you he wants anal sex, I don't thing talking about sex is an issue for you.
If you manage to stimulate his prostate, he might cum from anal stimulation alone. If not, a combination of anal and a BJ guarantees succes.
If you're grossed out by the idea, try some fiddling in the shower or demand him having a shower first. If that's not enough for you... try some nurse-roleplay. I bet he won't mind a latex glove then...

about 2 years ago · 1 Like
12GAUGE

12GAUGE · I LOVE NURSES!!! Role play and anal fun is the bomb!!

Webdaz3
Webdaz3 / Man / Likes Women / Just looking

Did you give it a go?

about 2 years ago
Jackofspades
Jackofspades / Man / Likes Women / Single

go to your local sex shop and get a strapon that should be fun for you both

over 1 year ago
WD
WD / Man / Likes Women / Married

I am a straight guy who has always craved anal stimulation, especially penetration. I have had girlfriends who initiated it before I got the nerve to ask them. My wife was reluctant at first, not because she thought it was gross (she didn't) but because she had never considered the idea and held the old stereotypes (like only gay men like anal penetration). In time she really got into it, and it's fun for her because we get to reverse the roles of who penetrates and who is penetrated.
I would suggest you at least TRY it. You might find you like to do it, as did my wife. If your guy really likes it, if it is a need, the two of you might be incompatible. I know it was a deal-breaker for me--I wouldn't have married my wife if it didn't turn out she was more than willing to finger my anus. So try it a few times. If you are really attracted to him, physically and spiritually, you will probably find yourself attracted to every inch of his body.
As for doing it--he should be very clean. He should have had a bowel movement and then have used an anal douche. That's an enema, only not deep and not lots of water. A disposable one from the drugstore or a bulb (buy one off the internet) will do. If a disposable one, don't use the liquid they come with. Use clean, room temperature tap water. Also, pull out the little stopper tab inside the syringe before you screw it onto the bottle. It slows down the water. He should use KY Jelly to lube his anus, gently insert the syringe, and squeeze the bottle. Then empty. Repeat two, three, four times, so his anal sphincter is empty and clean. Don't use a hot water bottle enema. That's way too much water and it will go way too deep and make a mess. Just rinse out the lower end of the digestive tract and then wash the outside.
Enough of that. Use KY Jelly for lube. Be gentle. Make the process sexy and fun. Sexy talk is great. Build up to the moment your fingertip goes inside. Move it in and out gently, eventually going deep. He might like two or more fingers once his anus is relaxed. If you curve your finger toward his belly, about two or three inside, you can find his prostate. It will feel like a rounded bulge. Gently rubbing that will be intensely pleasurable for him, and may cause semen to drip from his penis, without orgasm. Sucking a man's penis while you finger his anus is incredibly pleasurable for him. That or a handjob or having him masturbate along with the fingering can give him the most powerful orgasm he will ever have. Believe me, I know!
You might find you really like doing this. You might like to start things not with lube and your finger but with licking his anus (analingus), which is also intensely pleasurable. You might want to use a dildo, butt plug, or prostate massager on him, or even put on a strap-on a dildo and really reverse sex roles. But at least finger that man. If you are really into him, how can you be grossed out by his ass? I am crazy about my wife, and adore her ass. She doesn't like anal sex with her on the receiving end, but does like me licking her and sometimes even a finger inside. Not as much as I like to receive both, but at least I get to adore her bottom.
There are lots of articles online about straight male anal penetration, prostate massage, strap-ons, and so on. There is porn too--try youporn.com for videos and imagefap.com for photos and cartoons of women playing with men's asses.

over 1 year ago
Bigpun
Bigpun / 49 / Man / Likes Women / Married

Just because a guy likes his ass played with doesnt mean he is gay...it is just another way to get stimulation......i have tried ass play and it wasnt sexually stimulating to me.just felt like pressure it was done by my wife..i am into trying different things some feel great some dont i feel i am very open minded i have a sense of adventure, but it has to be pleasure for both people...............

over 1 year ago
Bigpun
Bigpun / 49 / Man / Likes Women / Married

ask him what he wants you to do..but if you really dont want to do then dont tell him why you dont want to do it

over 1 year ago
Duke
Duke / Man / Likes Women / In a relationship

My girlfriend and I pleasure each other anally a lot. She will, at times do me with a strap-on. You just have to make sure both partners are as clean as possible.
Then have at it. We give each other rim-jobs too. She likes me to cum in her ass and then give her a rim-job. I do it happily. Drives her nuts. Other times I will fuck her in the ass and then she'll deepthroat me until I cum. That's great too!

over 1 year ago
Swiftone

by Swiftone

Woman / Likes Men / Single

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