cheating wife

Noname1970 / 42 / Man / Likes Women / Single

Ok, so you cheat on her and she doesn't like it: then what? She cheats on you again? Then you do it again? Where exactly do you see this ending?

People step outside of their relationships for many reasons, almost none of them good, but seldom is it actually for the purpose of hurting the other person, as you've suggested your doing so would be. I'm not condoning what she's doing, but if it's been happening for the past year and you're only finding out about it now, she isn't doing it so she can hurt you: if that was her intention she could have found a way to make sure you knew long before this. No matter what she's done, you're still responsible for YOUR actions and intentions. If YOU go down that road too, you'll be doing just as much to ruin your marriage as she did. What she did MIGHT have been a mistake she got caught up in; what you're thinking about doing is an attack directed against her.

I don't know why she's been cheating on you: maybe she's a horrible person; maybe you are. But more than likely it's because she feels, even if she doesn't realize it herself, that something is missing from the marriage; that something about it isn't working for her. People get married for a lot of reasons, unfortunately, they're not always good or well thought out.

You need to make sure you're calm enough so that things won't get too ugly and confront her. Tell her how much it hurt you and ask her why she did it. It is completely within your rights to insist on an answer, but you better be prepared to accept that you might not get one.

This is make or break time for your marriage: this is where you figure out what's REALLY going on between you and whether it's worth trying to make it work, or if it's time to go your separate ways.

Otto · No name is giving wise and practical advice. I would listen.

Otto · Just feel lucky that Adrian didn't see this one first. hahahah

Adrian ( Resident A-hole) · eh, too much reading today. but seriously, from what i read, noname is sounding good. besides, i woulda probably sed similar. otto's just lucky i REALLY don't feel like starting shit today, so i'll let him off the hook this time......

GG / 32 / Woman / Likes Women / Married

The only thing you can do is find out why this happened, then and only then you will be able to find out if you can forgive and forget. Forgiving is the easy part, however the forgetting isn't that easy, even if you think it will be.

I am so sorry that she has done this to you. I despise cheaters but what i will say is before you jump in off the deep end with her,listen to her. It may be that she has a kink that you don't know about or that she is afraid to share with you which involves another person.

So glad you didn't do the whole getting back at her thing, you are a much better person than that. Good luck Beedawg :-)

Beedawg / 31 / Man / Likes Women / Single

Hey gg...thank u for your input....I was hoping to get a womens perspective...I def need to find out y it happened. I hope its something we can work on. I love her and don't want to lose her. I just hope its something we can work on together. I'm glad I didn't do it either. I have a lot of guy freinds and they all said cheat back. Thank u. Its nice to get a womens point of view. Ill def keep you posted as to what happens. Thank u again

GG · Excellent. It is all too easy to get entangled in a tit for tat situation but as it was stated earlier, that gets you nowhere but deeper into a mess and more hurtful/hateful. I'm not saying lie down and be a doormat but listen first and take your time to mull things over before you make any decisions on your future together. I wish you all the best, i really do.

Beedawg / 31 / Man / Likes Women / Single

Thanks noname and otto. I appreciate the help. I'm def gonna go about this a good way. I hope its not something so bad that we can't work it out.

Beedawg / 31 / Man / Likes Women / Single

Hello. Thank u for your reply. I never looked at it from that point of view. My first instinct was to hurt her. Honestly I didn't want to but when u get hurt your first instinct is to hurt back. I really don't know why she did it. I do everything for her. Give her everything she needs. We get along so well never fight or argue. Laugh all the time. I just. Wanna know why she did it. I might be willing to forgive. I love her with my whole heart. She does so much for me also. Thank you for replying it def stopped me from doing something stupid. Thank you

Noname1970 · You're welcome, and good luck with this. I've been there, on all sides of cheating, and know how hard it is. It sucks no matter how you look at it, but if you handle it the right way, you'll at least be assured you came to the right resolution, whatever that may be.

Otto · Beedawg, I know its tough man. I hope you get a good resolution to your problem. GL

Beedawg / 31 / Man / Likes Women / Single

Hey gg.....I realize that now. I was going on instinct before. I got hurt so I wanted to hurt back. I'm glad I joined this website. Thanks for the great advice. I'm def gonna mull things over. I'm def not gonna be a doormat. Thank u for your wishes I truly appreciate it.