Help. I really regret doing this =(

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So I've been dating this guy for 3 years, and we haven't had sex, but still do oral. So whenever he did oral, omg i would be turned on in seconds and I always got the pleasure out of it. I actually was wondering how he was so good!

Then, I moved to Europe for about 6 months. Since I didn't see my bf, I started masturbating about once a day (mainly cuz i was bored). And at first, it was hard for me to turn myself on, but then i started fantasizing thing, and it became easier. I would even watch porn just to get me turned on. Also, I never really went in, I just would mess with my clit.

Well, I came back to the US and whoa was I excited to get it on with my boyfriend. But to my surprise.... he wasn't turning me on anymore. I mean, its not that he wasnt turning me on, but i was used to picturing it in my mind and doing it myself, so when he was doing it, he just couldnt set me off.

Im really worried, and i honestly wish I haden'ta masturbated because now my mind is set to closing my eyes and fantasizing it. But i dont know why, I just cant stop and fantazise when im wth him.

I really want things to go back to how they used to be =/ i'm not even sure how to get it that way. I was thinking to just completely stop masturbating and maybe my mind will go back to normal? please help, this is reallyyy bothering me =(

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