I have been dating a wonderful attractive girl for about 4-5 months and things are getting serious. I really enjoy sex with her and we have lots of sex, but, I still love to masturbate. She does not understand this and thinks I should not mastubate at all since we are togehter and we have lots of sex....or at the very least, only masturbate when we dont see each other for a while. I, on the other hand, sometimes even prefer masturbation to sex because it is quicker and requires much less effort. So, now I find my self often not telling her the truth about this issue, which I dont like. I am not sure how to deal with this....
6 Replies
Yoda / Woman / Likes Men / Single
I know how you feel!! My g/f catches me masturbating and she flips out. I don't really understand it. She will kick me out of bed and make me sleep on the couch. She feels that it's the same as cheating. I don't understand women.
Jenny / Woman / Likes Men / Single
While some women prefer their men use their hand than seek another woman, others dissaprove. Have you considered keeping your masturbation habits private? Afterall, it should be private considering she doesn't get aroused by watching you. Reassure her that you're not fantasizing about other women (even if it's a fib) and about how much you enjoy sex with her. You can try to explain why you find the need to masturbate, which is perfectly normal, and if she still dissaproves you must learn to keep this habit between you & yourself. best of luck!
Kkc / Woman / Likes Men / Single
And...you don't think its a problem that you prefer it to sex with her? what if she started turning you down because she would rather please herself. Men can be such hypocrites.
Mike / Woman / Likes Men / Single
KKC- Read carefully......I said "SOMETIMES." and sometimes I dont like having ANY sex. And yes, I would be totally fine is somethimes she only wanted to masturbate (or not have any sex). Women can be so stupid.
Jenny, thank you for your advice......but it doesnt really help. Point is, despite having told her these things, she still questions me and I either have to hide things or not be honest, which you also suggest, but which I dont like doing and dont think I should have to.
GG / 33 / Woman / Likes Women / Married
i find it a real turn on when my fella masturbates because he does it in an open way ie if we're talkin dirty in bed and im tellin him what im goin to do to him. i also masturbate when he reciprocates. However, i absolutely hated it when i would be woken in the middle of the night by my ex havin a wank in bed next to me!! i think its all about the secrecy thats upsetting for your girlfriend, like u say it makes her feel like you'd prefer that to sex which is crushing for her. perhaps you could progress slowly from mutual masturbation ( which i assume you do?) and then make her feel wanted, loved, desired and sexy. Think of something which she does, says or wears thats turns you on then ask her to do it. As shes doin whatever you require slowly ontop of your clothing start to rub your cock, not just get it out and go hell for leather! I bet you'll see a different attitude if you do things gradually and with her not behind her back. gain her trust, boost her confidence and you'll be onto a winner. You also need to reassure her that when youre masturbating that youre thinking about her not someone else. If after all this she still doesnt approve then im afraid you'll have to keep it for when youre truly alone, somethings are just too deepset to change. Good luck.
Bigpun / 48 / Man / Likes Women / Married
My wife doesnt like me to masturbate..we have been married for 22 years...but she doesnt get so mad she kicks me out of the bed..it is a private thing for me..and i told her she can masturbate as much as she likes..she says she doesnt need to because she has me..i do not know if she thinks it is cheating..i do not think it is...