My boyfriend and I are in an open relationship. In the beginning of the relationship it was okay, I was fine with it. Now that I've fallen for him I get very jealous and I begin to feel like I'm not attractive to him anymore. How can I overcome the jealousy and make myself more attractive to him as well as give him better sex so it doesn't get stale.
3 Replies
cleverKAL / 20 / Man / Likes Women / Single
Obviously, you're having a harder time than you thought you would. So I'd say, if you are starting to have problems with jealousy, then be true to your feelings and just ask him if he wants to change the relationship to a monogamous situation. If he says no, I don't think it would be wise for you to saty in that kind of relationship. You can't stop yourself from falling for the person, so staying in that situation would be like drowning. I'm sure it has nothing to do with how attractive you are, he is just doing what you both agreed to. In my opinion, jealousy can't work in an open relationship, no matter how big or how small, cause it will only grow. It takes a certain kind of couple to really pull it off.
Dokuprincess / Bisexual / Likes Bisexuals / In a relationship
What you say makes sense, however, I cannot see myself ever being without him. I mean I've been in love before and I've had enough courage to turn and walk away from a situation. This...this is so much different than anything I've been in before. The attraction seems so much more fierce and tougher that it seems impossible to do anything else. We both have had traumatic childhoods and we've become obsessed with that feeling, not of just sex in general but of the feeling of climaxing and release. We have similar fantasies. I was just hoping I could do to rid myself of the jealousy of one particular girl. Doubtful at this point, but I really don't think leaving is an option anymore.
cleverKAL · My first question would be : Is that feeling of love reciprocated by him? If so, I still say the real test of that love will come when you ask him to give himself to you, and you alone. Something you wrote somewhat worries me, you wrote, " The attraction seems so much more fierce and tougher that it seems impossible to do anything else." When you say " do anything else " I assume you're saying it's impossible for you Not to love him. Please be careful, love can turn to obsession very easily, and I'm not trying to offend you by saying that you would do something crazy like stalking him or something out of control, I'm just saying obsession can take many forms. If things don't turn out how you expect, you could end up being very depressed, going to counciling and getting meds, I've seen it happen. But besides that, leaving is always an option. If you tell him how you really feel and he doesn't want to only be with you, then you have to leave. Or else you will be lieing to yourself, and you will become a slave to a dream of love that will probably never happen. Also, it's great that you have the same fantasies, and feeling about sex and climax, but if he doesn't love you enough to be with you the way you want to be with him, there can always be another person who you fall in love with, but then it's up to you to let it happen again.
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