Dear Fellow members,
I have been with my girlfriend for almost a year. We are in a long distance relationship and see each other at best once a week. (We are both 17, she is my second girlfriend and to my knowledge I am her first boyfriend)
I suffer from the problem of being very clingy, jealous and paranoid. We both know it's there and she deals with it. For example at the mention of another guy I always ask for his name, get really scared and that sinking feeling in the heart. I always have to be in contact with her and know what she is doing and so on. So far when instances of ten missed calls happen she just says she is flattered and I apologies and we move on, but I know she thinks I don't trust her.
I googled this and the internet has been wonderfully vague and useless. So far I have narrowed it down to an inferiority complex/bad experiences...
Please could you advise me;
how to stop being jealous?
how to explain to her why I behave in this manner?
and after that is done on how to prevent such negative emotions rising again?
(ironically we just got into an argument about this while I was typing (over skype), I conceded and apologised, just proves that I need solutions)
thank you,
limey
8 Replies
GG / 32 / Woman / Likes Women / Married
You need to grow up, simple. If you don't let her breathe she will go, end of discussion.
You are still young, live your life. If you don't trust her, which you obviously don't then what is the point? Not only do you torture yourself but you chip away at a potentially lovely girl and make her suffer for your own problems. Been there done that for 7 long torturous years. Best thing i did was leave him and got back to being me.
Adrian / 29 / Man / Likes Women / Single
ok, this is exactly how i did it- just stop caring. ABOUT EVERYTHING AND EVERYTHING. yes, the feeling occasionally comes back, but if you don't give her space, she'll leave. and THAT will suck!
Otto / Man / Likes Women / Single
yup to all these folks said. The fastest way to lose her is to try and hold her too tight.
And if she likes your clinginess, things are bound to be very unhealthy. You have your whole life ahead of you, and you will meet many many women. Breath, take it easy, be confident, and dont smother her.
Chi / 20 / Woman / Likes Men / In a relationship
i agree. if you really love her then you can trust her and if your clinging then you don't. take my relationship. its been 6 months since i have seen my bf and he lives over a thousand miles from me. i love him and trust him. be patient and if things get out of hand it might not be worth it
Limey / Man / Likes Women / In a relationship
thanks
Limey / Man / Likes Women / In a relationship
im sure i do love her, and i just feel that it is an immense glitch in the matrix that we are together, and therefore feel threatened easily, that is what i want to fix...
Reddenjb / Man / Likes Women / Single
Ok I got over mine by realizing that women are not animals we can control. You have to look at it this way, if she's going to cheat she's going to do it. Then you have the decision which you can control to stay or leave her.
Limey · well i got over the jealousy, might even delete this post, i love her and im not going anywhere. thanks for the advice, i agree with you :D
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