The irony is I'm probably not too bad looking & consider myself a caring & thoughtful type of guy. PROBLEM, I get nervous around crowds of people & the thought of going to clubs or restraunts terrifies me! Hmm, considering these are the places most social interaction happens I'm pretty .....what's the word? Fucked? Just not literally.
Women like sensitive guys who arent afraid to show emotion, right? PROBLEM, I'm probably TOO sensitive!
I'd SO appreciate some advice. Thanks.
9 Replies
Bastagde / Man / Likes Women / In a relationship
Women like sensitive Kick boxers.
That aside lol....NO your not FUCKED!! Depression is a serious problem but not one that you cant deal with. If your really deeply depressed it might be wise to talk to your doctor, seek counseling.or a support group or even website or even just talk to friend or family member. I suffer from Post Traumatic stress disorder myself. Some of the symptoms being depression and anxiety i feel the same way about crowds and clubs. i get nervous around large groups of people. The way i dealt with it was forcing the issue..When i was a much younger man i use to sing in a band almost 20 years ago now. I used to be very social. then i had a traumatic experience and it left me closed off and shut down in many ways. I was lucky enough to have already met someone who gave me support and love and stayed with me as i dealt with my issues. But What it came down to is me forcing the issue. I went online and found a karaoke bar in my neighborhood. i went for months before i had to nerve to talk to anyone but the bartender though people were friendly to me. After about a year i went up and sang. Now ever few months i will go out sing but only to try to keep on top of my anxiety. I'm not saying this is the answer for you but you might try just sitting in a busy coffee shop for a while and just have a drink and read a book or play with your i-pad or whatever and try to get used to it. Most people wont be unfriendly as long as your polite
As far as meeting someone there are plenty of online dating or matchmaking sites and NO I'm not talking about ordering a bride from Russia. :o but when your filling out the questionnaire i would use the word Shy instead of depressed.
good luck :)
Vehement Mystify · Thanks for that. Everyone's experience is different , right ? The thought of me going out alone to a bar etc right now is just about equivelant to booking a flight to the moon! It's a tough subject to broach even here because it can never come out sounding anything other than not cool! And I despise self pity or any other kind. Gets you nowhere. I consider myself a pretty positive person, I've just got to be ever vigilant about keeping myself healthy. Oh & I'd rather stay single than lie about my condition, what value is there in starting off on false pretences? Have I just given an insight into why I'm single? oops.
Adrian ( Resident A-hole) · ok......you ALREADY look at ur 'condition' in a VERY negative light! "I'd rather stay single than lie about my condition" ....... i'm sorry......(wait, no i'm not!)........but ur a dumbass!! dude, I CAN'T WALK! I TALK STUPID! I HAVE LITTLE TO NO HAND-EYE COORDINATION! now, all that shit wrong with me, BUT STILL i have managed to steal a woman's heart.
Bastagde · I wasn't suggesting you lie just omit certain things and everyone does it when the are first getting to know someone.I would like to add that women can smell depression and will steer clear if you don't show some self confidence..unless of course your a vampire =P..The trick is to get out of your own head and change your routine. go out for a walk..whatever it takes..take it from me the longer you lock yourself away the harder it will be to deal with people or your depression and the harder it will be to build the trust that is needed for a good relationship.
Vehement Mystify · I appreciate your words. I didnt pose the question to get easy answers. I consider myself to be pretty self aware & even though I expected some of the answers it's a positive thing to hear them from others. Maybe it didnt come over too well but I was being a bit tongue in cheek about the rather stay single than lie thing. Again, I appreciate you taking the time to reply. Cheers.
Tiresias / 31 / Transexual / Likes Bisexuals / Single
Really it's all up to you. If you let it be a stumbling block it will. That being said, I have the same issues as you (to the extent that I have a panic attack if there are more than four people in a building at the same time) and I've been in two long term relationships, one polyamorous one, and from January 1st until last week I didn't wake up in my own bed a single morning.
So you're not doomed as long as you work to overcome the issues. There are places to meet people other than clubs. Just be careful with online dating sites and don't fall for the first person to come along, because it's been my experience that for every good person on the site you have to wade through dozens of defective individuals.
Vehement Mystify · Appreciate you taking the time. I am working on that "stumbling block" thing, trust me.
GG / 32 / Woman / Likes Women / Married
To avoid immediate problems you could try finding someone online to chat to at first. I suffer with depression and anxiety so i know how you feel.
Vehement Mystify · Thanks for the reply. That online chat thing could be a way to go. Any advice regarding that?
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