One year ago, I lost my wife, well, January 18, will be one year. I see that this is supposed to turn others on. I doubt that is will, but if it makes one person see there spouse in a different light, then I guess that could be a turn on, of sorts.
My wife died after 26 years of marriage and dating. 22 years of marriage and 4 years of dating and living together. And now, I am starting everything over again, only now, I have to learn just who the hell am i. I was a loving husband and friend. a father or dad, Now I am just Dad, to 3 grown kids.
This starting your life over stuff is a real pain, I liked being married. Life was simple and complete. I new my jobs, I new what was expected of me and what I had to do at home.
Now, it's me, well, My youngest son is still living at home. He is in school and working, so thats a plus. But it is still just me. What do i want? Sure I have bought my self some cool toys and am learning new things, but who am i.
I am a 49 year old guy with a whole worrld open up to me, I can do what I want, what I want is my wife still alive. Not going to happen, that chapter has closed and now I am turning a page, starting a new chapter. What do i do. There are so many options, Working will be one, I like to eat and keep the lights on. I hope to have a new relationship again someday, but most of the woman out there are looking at their second marriages. I was never a big fan of dating, all the ackward small talk, learning about someone or where to meet someone, on line, boy, there are a lot of choices for that, bars, not a big fan of bars, not a big drinker and the thought of a DUI is not a pleasent thought.
And then there is SEX. I know what I like and what works for me, and the tought of playing with a new ladies body is exciting, but making here happy and satisfied. Now thats the rub, so to speak. Now I am not the greatest lover in the world and I may have an average size penis, don't get me wrong, my penis is long and thick, but what if she was with some guy that was , well, lets say hung like a horse. Also, I am very oral, both in giving and recieving plus there is my kinky side. I'm a bit of a freak...lol.
With all the rules and lawsuits, is it safe to talk about sex with a woman now a days. It would sure suck to go on a date or two and then get a lawsuit thrown in your face for sexual harrasment.
The rules have changes and like I said earlier, it's scary out there and what to do. Now I know some of you are saying to your self about now, this is not erotic and it sure does not turn me on, so what the HELL!!...It's just a short story about a guy that is trying to reinvent himself and stay alive in this crazy world.
I will make it, I have no choice, I am not one o f those just lay down and give up types. just because life threw a bump in the road, I am just saying, It sure is scary out there in the dating world.
6 Replies
GG / 32 / Woman / Likes Women / Married
I get what you are saying here, it is so difficult to move on from a place you knew well and loved with all your heart. I have never lost anyone in the way you describe but i have been attached, twice for 9yrs and 7yrs respectively, so i know how that comfort zone feels.
Dating is a nightmare, i never was big on going out and chatting people up, having said that i never had to. I haven't always looked like this lol. I met my husband online and didn't do any of the the "dating" thing. We spent many nights and days chatting online or on the phone. It was during one of these conversations that we kid of found our feet with our fetishes.
He was very scared to tell me what he was into, stuff which i wont go into on here and it was very strange for me to admit i liked similar things. All the time i kept thinking, "my god what if he turns out to be a psycho stalker and my kids find out i like X,Y,Z".
This is going to take you a long time to readjust, so don't rush it. You will find your feet in time. You'll move in different circles eventually, circles which wont be as intimidating and you'll know who you can confide in and who you know will go running, screaming into the hills lol.
I am so sorry for your loss Tony.
Otto / Man / Likes Women / Single
Hey my man, very sorry for you loss.
Take your time, and don't over think everything. Seems to me your still very much hurting and needing to heal. You anxieties over the dating thing is natural. Breath, and get out there. Just don't rush things eh?
As to penis size and what if she had a monster hung lover before you, thats just more anxiety talking. A sexy time boogie man? Lets not put the cart before the horse.
You
Will
Be
Fine
Best of luck man
Adrian / 29 / Man / Likes Women / Single
tony, i've sorta been there, not the death of a partner, but the upheaval of your lifestyle. 4 yearrs ago, i died. several times.
i was in a brutal car accident (my fault) and wasn't wearing my seatbelt (DEFINITELY my fault!). i was airlifted 45 min to the nearest trauma center. i've been told that i flatlined twice on the trip. i am now living with my parents due to the difficulty associated w living alone in my current condition. i am unable to walk w o the use of a walker, am unable to drive, and unable to work in any position or job that i have experience in. i also have 2 young kids (w different moms). my entire life was thrown across a room and left on it's side. that was 4 years ago on dec 11. fast forward to now- i am literally just having fun. most of my day now is just me enjoying anything and everything. i go to the movie theatre A LOT, sometimes i take my son (mini-me, literally). i go with my kids and mom to the mall (food court, and the kids love the play area). and i play my nintendo ds most of my downtime or during car rides. i enjoy the simple things. you may be questioning why i typed all of this.
plain and simple- it takes time to recover. sometimes you never recover. sometimes you wake up the next day, and POOF! sometimes you only sorta recover. YOU just need to make a conscious effort to recover. you can WANT all you like, but until you DO, nothing will ever happen.
Harsh2009 / 24 / Man / Likes Women / Single
Dear Tony my friend I can feel your sufferings the time stand still. And the empty bucket never fills
Yours story shows your heart that your wife is luckiest person in the world,
You are so brave to lead the life gracefully, I salute your love..
I must say get yourself engaged in work or new relationship, the life worse than death where you beloved I sleeping in rest..
A relation in my term is not about only sex, is about having someone always for you I sweet n bitter time of life..
I know how it feels to be lonely when some go for ever
Life doest stop the clock always moving forward ..
Justmetony / 49 / Man / Likes Women / Single
Hello again y'all
I have been getting ready for the holidays and have been staying busy. Thank you for the nice replies that I recieved. It is nice to know that if you do write something, you will hear back on it, Guess thats why this site is popular. I was planning on putting out all the christmas stuff that we have collected over the years, but in the end. I put up a small tree and have it filled with presents. My family is all getting together this year so it should be a pretty good holiday. This will be the first Christmas with out my wife, but the family will all be together and that will be a big help. I hope that everyone on here has a nice Christmas or Holiday that you celabrate and that the new year brings you good luck, happiness and prosperity.
Tony
Otto / Man / Likes Women / Single
Hey Tony,
Glad you are moving forward my man, hope you have a good christmas as well
Otto
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