WEll i am 23 years old and my fiancee is 25. Both of us are still virgins. I promised to wait toill i found love to end my vow. She is waiting till marriage which is 3 years away.My problem is while no intercorse takes place. Almost anything else does the most i can do is finger before she stops but i feel like even she wants this vow to be over. My question is how do i get her to end the vow without her feeling like shit. I love her but as long as i have waited 3 moe years of blue balls maybe too much .What do i do
6 Replies
Bulldhit / Woman / Likes Women / Single
Well Jblood23, have that real talk with your lady. I'm thinking if you and your lady are going to get married then you both must have an awesome relationship, an honest one and trustworthy one. So its like pick the right place and right time to have this talk about SEX. Dive into it, and see where it goes. You said, "i feel like even she wants this vow to be over." Before you ask her , ask yourself "Do I want this vow to be over?" and dwell on it for as long as you can, write it out, heck yell it out. Now thats the first step. Now after that if you still want to know how your lady feels about / thinks about ending the vow, then ask. Pick the most natural moment to ask her this. When I'm get down to talk about somethng real/serious i clear up the water before diving into it, you know what i mean. Like if anything is lingering in the air like a doubt or even something generous that you have floating in your head just say. "Be like woman (lol) i got'a tell you this" and tell her everything you think and feel and then ask her for her thoughts/emotions. and there you go mann. Worst case scenario she gets upset or doesnt want to talk about it then apologize. If she truely loves you then she would understand you and listen and have the talk, sorry for my opinion. but yah mann hope that helps . so 1st ask yourself "Do i want to end the vow" 2nd dwell on it 3rd location location; have the real talk @ the right time 4th you start it let her know your thoughts/feeling everything on "ending the vow" and then 5th ask her " and be like woman give it to me straight" lol you know and Worse comes to Worse APOLOGIZE.... well my friend like i tell myself everyday "I'm only human, and I'm not perfect." like Salvador Dali said "Have no fear of perfection, you will never reach it." i laugh when i read that alright Jblood. peace mann stay up.
eJefe / Man / Likes Women / Single
I'm not sure why the vows...is this based on a religious belief?
I'm not in your shoes, and never will be at this point...I'm twice your age, and lost my virginity in my teens. My GF back then was a virgin like me, but went on the pill for me and basically threw herself at me. We dated 3 years, but didn't get married to each other. We did it out of love, and had a great sex life.
I've been married, and what i can tell you about marriage is this...
A licence, and a gold ring on your finger doesn't guarantee sex...ANY sex...good, bad or otherwise. I know couples that do it everyday, or once every season, or...NEVER! My own wife shut me off the last year we were together, after 4 years of 'duty sex' basically sex once or twice a month, IF she felt like it.
We did it before we were married, and she had 4 BFs before me, but she said she was basically against sex before marriage....it turns out that some women who are against pre-marital sex are also against post-marital sex!
Personally, the best sex I ever had was outside of the bounds of marriage, even with my former wife...I'm not telling you what to do, I'm just saying I won't buy a car without taking it for a drive around the block first. My former wife was incompatible with me, and i kind of knew it going in...and there is no hell on earth like being shackled to someone like that...I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Talk to your fiance...about anything and everything, and know what you're getting yourself into...maybe you two are compatible, and maybe you're not, but the only way to have a good idea is to communicate...and sex itself is a form of communication.
Good luck!
Macky / 46 / Man / Likes Women / In a relationship
If she is waiting until marriage and is very serious about it I'm afraid you will have to respect that. It appears you have already discussed this with her so there is no point in trying to "discuss this with her". If she gives in to you its something she will carry into the marriage and cause long term, potential, problems. A lifetime of bad or mediocre sex isn't worth the price of doing it now. She will regret it any other way. BUT, why 3 more years? You are both healthy into your 20's. Why wait any longer. Get married sooner, or even elope. Heck, do a Romeo and Juliette and elope but don't tell anyone. If its marriage holding her back, work on getting married sooner than later. If you get married to her and are committed to that, then whatever this 3 years issue is, it won't matter. School? Won't matter. Expenses... won't matter. Parent's... you are too old for their direct involvement. What's holding you back?
Adrian ( Resident A-hole) · i almost didn't comment, but i refuse to ignore someone else making the same stupid mistake i did. don't get married JUST to have sex. it will NOT end well! ...............this comes from a guy who is looking at his 7 year-old brat as he types........
Adrian ( Resident A-hole) · oh, and another thing- wtf are you guys waiting 3 years for marraige for anyway?
Jblood23 · We are waiting to save money for the wedding and waiting for her to finish college
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