Dear users,
I hesitate whether to place this in the 'cheating' category for this is the opposite.
I went to my school's leavers' ball. My Girlfriend is a hour by train away and has exams so could not make it. Therefore I went alone. Having met many girls (since this is the first time the girls' and boys' school have formally met each other) I ended up close to one. Unfortunately being marginally intoxicated (i shared vodka shots with a bartender :D ) I sent out way too many wrong signals, basically if I was her I would be sure that I was very much liked. Apologies if that is unclear, suffice to say that eventually we ended up dancing closely together. I told her I had a girlfriend early on but she stayed around me, whether it was because she thought there was still a chance or because she was timid I do not know.
Then came the time when kissing was necessary, but I explained that while she is attractive in many ways, I am unable to do anything, she seemed ready for this and did not go away or otherwise be upset. Eventually the end of the evening arrived and we went on our separate ways. I rejected her, but I made sure she knew it was because of me rather than her inadequacy. (unfortunately the environment was that everyone else was making out with their companions)
I had to pick between two evils - cheating or making someone feel rejected - I went for the lesser one. I rejected her and did *not* cheat. Yet I hate knowing I inflicted emotional pain, myself I know the feeling of rejection too intimately to be comfortable with others experiencing it.
She has not made contact with me, it had been two days.
Questions:
-Did I do the right thing (ish)?
-Why do I feel so bad about rejecting someone?
-Could I apologise/somehow stay friends with that girl?
apologies for the long story here is a short version
>go to ball
>drunkenly send wrong signals to girl
>decide not to cheat
>reject girl
>she does not go away
>feel terrible
>what am I to do?
thank you,
limey
8 Replies
Adrian / 29 / Man / Likes Women / Single
limey, limey, limey..... you did nothing wrong! (aside from underage drinking, which is WRONG AND STUPID!!!!!) end of story. you should NOT feel bad, you did the right thing!
Adrian ( Resident A-hole) · oh, and the fact u feel bad about doing something unintentionally is just strange..... weirdo......
Limey · well it was a school event so the drinking is controlled- and legal in GB, and i am russian, so i know what im doing, having been introduced to alcohol in a controlled manner by my father and uncle, thanks, i guess, should i contact her? i am a weirdo. :D
Limey / Man / Likes Women / In a relationship
well it was a school event so the drinking is controlled- and legal in GB, and i am russian, so i know what im doing, having been introduced to alcohol in a controlled manner by my father and uncle,
thanks, i guess, should i contact her?
i am a weirdo. :D
Otto · IMO i think you should not contact her. Its always exciting to be liked, but get your priorities straight. EIther dump your GF and pursue this one, or cut her off and focus on your lady. Cant have both.
Limey · I know i cannot have both, and i will stick with my GF of over a year now, but is it not possible to have the other one as a female friend? i never had a female friend and i want one :D
Otto / Man / Likes Women / Single
THings happen, you did get your nose dive under control.
It the fact that it started at all is a red flag imo.
I am no prude, but i do believe in being a solid partner. Either its monogamous or poly amorous in agreement. Stick to your commitments i say.
Limey · I agree, i would never cheat on my girlfriend ever ever, but i just felt bad for actually rejecting someone, its wearing off at a reasonable pace
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