Can Anal Sex Be Good?

Experienced / Woman / Likes Men / Single

In addition to the great advice of the previous commenter, you need to let your boyfriend know that this is NOT going to happen in one night. I highly suggest several nights of anal foreplay to loosen you up, get you used to the experience, and let you find out what gives you pleasure. Particularly since you've had a bad experience with this before, he needs to understand that your comfort comes before his pleasure - and that he's going to have to go very slowly. Find pleasure in anal foreplay first, then try anal sex - when you feel ready, not when he feels ready.

As a side note, I strongly believe that if he wants you to put something up your ass, he needs to put something up his ass. Be it a finger or a toy, I strongly suggest making him experience the same thing you do. If he thinks it's going to be painful, or not pleasurable, or too taboo, then why would he ask you to do it?

A_girl / Woman / Likes Men / Single

Wow, the advice above is better than the advice for vaginal sex...haha.

Can't top all of that.

But I would like to add that it may just not be something you like, or you may like it, but not in the typical way. For example, I really do not like the "in and out" motion of a penis. It feels like pooping, to me. A lot of people say you can "get over" that feeling the more you do it, but anal play for me is best when it is a vibrating plug and get my vagina fucked at the same time.

So, that won't be great news to your bf, but once you have done everything right and tried it out of a few (or more) nights, accept that you may just not like being banged in the ass. Although having the vibrations there when he does you vaginally might feel nice for him ;).

No_means_no / Woman / Likes Men / Single

People who want to stick stuff up your arse are sociopaths. They only care about the physical act, and cannot feel empathy for your pain and humiliation.

I am a woman who once terminated a "relationship" with a female who directly told me that, she was "going to" strap on a dildo and bugger me. She had the gall to claim that *I* was dysfunctional for refusing.

No Means No. People who obsess on anal sex cannot understand that simple concept. INCLUDING FEMALES. The basic issue is that, they enjoy violating boundaries. Including boundaries about consent. If the person is female, she cannot imagine any consequences legally, socially, or even the possibility of getting terminated out of the relationship. That is what makes them so dangerous.

Don_won / Woman / Likes Men / Single

As a guy that loves anal sex I feel cheated if I if pull it out of a hot ass and it doesn't have a little crap on.

Boundaries / Woman / Likes Men / Single

Dear "NoMeansNo":

You're right about some things, and terribly sad about others. Sex IS about boundaries. Its about negotiating boundaries for physical, emotional, and spiritual pleasure and health. Some people enjoy having things shoved up their asses, in their vaginas, and in their mouths. Some people HOPE and DESIRE for their girlfriends and boyfriends to WANT to shove things up their asses and in their vaginas and in their mouths (because we have loved ones who understand how to negotiate boundaries, pleasure, and reciprocity) because - frankly - it feels INCREDIBLE.
It sucks that your girlfriend didn't have the brains or empathy to NEGOTIATE your relationship boundaries. The rest of us, though, who believe in consensual, egalitarian relationships, however, are NOT sociopaths for wanting to be buttfucked, fingerfucked, or fucked any other way. And neither are our girlfriends, who really just want us to experience awesome physical pleasure within the boundaries of a sharing, loving relationship.

Good luck in learning to explore the body the goddess gave you. It really is amazing.
Sincerely,

LikesitAllKindsofWays

Bi_bloke / Woman / Likes Men / Single

hi, as a bi guy, i love being fucked, one thing not mentioned is that if the penis is just put on your anus, and you push as if having a dump and slide it in gently, it will go in as far as a second sphincter, then when relaxed, do the same pushing movement to swallow the rest. I can take large cocks with no lubrication this way, and the body does produce lubrication - this is used to help with the passage of "waste" and gives it that shiny coating.

Happierwithoutclothes / Woman / Likes Men / Single

I absolutely agree with all the advice above including the advice to require the boyfriend to take it as well. First of all, it's only fair and secondly, for a male, it can lead to the most explosive orgasm that they've ever had.

My wife and I recently got a Hitachi Magic Wand which is the most powerful vibrator available. This work-horse has been around for what seems like eons but it's reputation for producing orgasms is unsurpassed. They include two massage attachments that look remarkably like dildos (imagine that) on straight and one curved. The length is about 3 1/2 inches and only about 1 inch in diameter. This design makes them comfortable for anal sex, with minimal pre-prep as mentioned above. The dildos fit on the head of the massage unit and believe me, they do a fine job of transmitting vibration to the "tired" body part.

My point is this, with this unit, I had the orgasm of a lifetime using the curved dildo attachment. My wife inserted the curved unit in my ass with the curve pointed downward on my prostate. She then proceeded to give me a blowjob that culminated in an orgasm that almost made me pass out. This is no exaggeration!

I should also point out that I am 58 years old with type II diabetes. Accordingly, nerve damage has impeded my ability to adequately feel her vagina, so blow jobs and anal stimulation is the only way I can achieve orgasm. Also, so everyone knows, I service her first with the Hitachi fitted with the straight dildo and she is very close to having squirting orgasms that she used to have before a hysterectomy and menopause.

Jackie / Woman / Likes Men / Single

Yes, anal sex can be very enjoyable. The trick is to know what position will make you the most comfortable and calm. Being uncomfortable restricts the muscles in that region making it harder for the penis to enter. Just relax. Instead of the usual doggy-style look alike position, try having him sit up or lay down and sit on his dick reverse cow girl style, just with your anus instead of vagina. Also, using a condom helps it slide in more easily and does not make it hurt as much.

Bre / 18 / Woman / Likes Men / Single

In my opion, yesss yes yes lol. It can be great, as long as you use a condom(so its not as messy and you dont cause your guy to get a UTI), pleeeenty or lube, and it helps aloooot if you or your man fingers your ass first(you can put a condom on your finger if your woried about it getting gross to you). It takes away the pain factor if you stretch it out before you start, once that pain isnt there is when you can actully relize how good it can feel. Also main tip focuss on relaxing your ass muscle as much as possible before you start and while your going, if your tense'd up it can cause it to hurt much more than it should.

Exokisa / Woman / Likes Men / Single

YES! That’s the short answer to your question. I’m female and I’ve tried it a few times (being on the receiving end). I enjoyed it and so could just about anyone woman if properly prepared beforehand. It’s different, that’s for sure.

From a purely biological standpoint, our assholes are nothing like our vaginas. The vagina is self-lubricating while your ass requires LOTS of lube (yes, caps are necessary). I read somewhere that if you think you have enough lube in and around that area, you probably could use some more. It’s absolutely true. So if you’re considering anal sex, stock up. Foreplay is nice when you’re having vaginal intercourse; it makes the whole process go much more smoothly. When you’re going for anal, it’s absolutely necessary. Thirty minutes of padding, massaging, fingering or even rimming of anus is a good place to start. The sphincter needs to relax a bit, masturbating during anal play is often very helpful. You can accomplish great things when aroused. Once you can handle two fingers, you could try an anal plug, but depending on your partner’s size, I don’t recommend trying to stuff a penis in there until you can comfortably accommodate three fingers.
Now, regarding that partner, it is imperative that you trust this person. If he is trying to get in and it suddenly starts to hurt, you want to be absolutely certain that he will listen to you and stop. You can hurt yourself if you don’t listen to what your body is telling you. Pain is bad. It means he needs to go slower or you need to relax more. I don’t recommend attempting anal when you are drunk or high. You won’t be able to properly gauge your limits or effectively communicate how you’re feeling.

As for the cleanliness issue, you have some options here as well. Some people believe that having a bowel movement beforehand is good enough and I agree that it will get rid of most, if not everything, that’s up there. I like to give myself an enema with plain warm water a few hours before anal sex. You don’t want to do it right before because there might be some drainage during intercourse. No matter what you choose to do, keep an open mind. If you’re playing in someone’s backyard, you should expect to get at least a little dirty.