7 Things about Sex You Learned in Kindergarten

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Bet you didn’t realize how early you learned about sex. Indeed, by age 5, you already had the wisdom to bang anybody that you wanted to. Since you didn’t take up the chances then (how dare you), you might as well look back at what you learned so you can make use of your schooling now…

1. Follow the Leader
Pick one dominant person to lead the way or you’ll end up with two confused people arguing over which door to go into.

2. Do unto Others…
Don’t ask for something sexual that you wouldn’t be willing to give in return. If you want some anal and she wants a rim job, you gotta be willing to give and take.

3. Work as a Team
If one person is doing all the work, that isn’t sex – it’s slavery. Work together to reach a mutual climax or learn to do things by yourself.

4. Use Your inside Voices
If there are other people around, keep the moans and screams to a minimal. They will only seem like a turn on until the cops bust down the door because someone thinks there’s a murder happening.

5. Put Things Where They Belong
While I’m all for sexual experimentation, you have to know where things go in people. If you find your dick working its way into your girl’s nostril, you might want to re-educate yourself on the human body.

6. Always Do Your Best
Don’t half ass through sex unless there is a good reason for it. There’s nothing worse than a limp partner who’s thrusting like he’s on an exercise machine.

7. Clean up Your Mess When You’re Done
Once you’ve finished your dirty deed, make sure to clean it up. Wipe up the spills, tidy up the toys, and put everything back where it belongs.

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by AskMyGF

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