My boyfriend of 7 months is going away on a road trip with three of his closest friends. After they make their way to California, they're jetting over to Germany for a few weeks. I'd go but I just started working at a new job and I didn't want to take time off yet. It's exciting that he's going and, though I'm going to miss him so much, I'm happy to see him take this chance to do something adventurous. At the same time, I have been super worried about him cheating on me while he's on vacation. I know it's stupid, but every time I think about him traveling somewhere, I get scared because I know that he'll be spending time with someone who isn't me. So, I sort of brought it up to him and asked if he would see other people. And, he said I don't know. That really made me mad. I haven't spoken to him in a couple of days. He's leaving by the end of this week and I want to reconcile before he goes. But, how can we prevent sex from happening when he's away from me?
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Dan / Woman / Likes Men / Single
What you're feeling is not stupid, and his response of "I don't know" to your question would upset anyone, male or female. He might be telling the truth, or he might just want you to be jealous. Either way, it's best not to worry about something you can't control. How can you stop him from being with other women? You can't, and that's why you have to rely on trust - the foundation of all relationships, but especially long distance ones.
His original answer of "I don't know" is not exactly reassuring, but since you still want to be with him, you have no choice but to trust him. Short of cutting his dick off, I don't see how you can be sure he won't have sex when he's on his travels.
I'm sure you two will be in constant contact while he's away, but try not to make him being gone your No. 1 priority. You said you have a new job: focus on that. You have a life too, so live it. Don't cheat on him, but go out with your friends more: go dancing, go out to dinner, go to the gym if you don't already. Keep yourself active.
Again, don't worry about something you can't control. I know it's difficult, but it's not worth it. It's okay to miss him, and it's okay to let him know that you miss him, but don't let his absence drag you down.
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