Few things are worse in the dating experience than anticipating a date and then being disappointed not because the other person wasn’t nice but because the date itself was boring. There are some key elements that set great dates apart from boring ones, and they don’t all have to do with chemistry and attraction.
Know what questions to ask
Start by remembering that this is a date, not a job interview. Even though you want to get to know the other person better and see what you have in common, you’re usually not going to find out much about your compatibility by asking questions about where the person grew up or details about his or her job. Unless the story is great – say, she grew up in the Congo with her missionary parents, or he’s a bear trainer for a traveling circus – then it’s not going to offer much insight into who the person is on a first date.
Know what to say on the date
You’ll still need to do some prep work for the date by creating some talking points, especially if you’re not a big talker yourself. Come up with a list of good stories you have, and if necessary practice delivering them. Good stories should be interesting but also truthful. A story about saving a child from a burning building is only going to impress if it’s true (and verifiable), but a story about rescuing a tiny Chihuahua from a tomcat is both interesting and amusing. If delivering personal stories like comedy routines isn’t your style, then ask yourself what other people find interesting about you. Does your date really care if you have a sister in Topeka and a brother in Birmingham? Probably not. Does your date find it interesting that you grew up in a family of ten siblings? Probably, because that’s unusual and can be a great conversation starter.
Dinners may not be a good idea
If you’re shy or uncomfortable with talking about yourself, you should avoid the dinner date. First, the dinner date is boring and predictable in and of itself. Second, there’s a lot of downtime on a dinner date, so you’re pretty much forced to talk or else sit in uncomfortable silence. Instead, choose a date that doesn’t require much talking. Going to the movies or out dancing are common choices, but it’s okay to be more creative. For instance, maybe you could go to the planetarium and then have a quick bite to eat at a hot dog stand. Attending a wine tasting is also nice, because you’re usually paired with lots of other people so some of the pressure is off. For something really off the wall, go shopping for a new mattress and try out all the beds in the store. You could even go to a place perfect for people watching like the train station or food court, where the two of you could pretend like you’re on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and make up stories about the people you see.
Don’t think that you’re boring
Perhaps the most important thing for you to do to keep a date from seeming boring is for you to communicate yourself that you’re having a good time. People take their cues for behavior and levels of interests from others, so if you appear to be bored or disinterested, the other person likely will, too.
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