Have you had such a great time on a date, but Mr. Wonderful never calls you again? Do you start to unravel by staying glued to the news to see if you can identify him in the most recent car crash, or think he is ransacking his apartment for a little piece of paper with your phone number on it?Boy, do I have a news flash for you. Mr. Wonderful is free of injury and his house is in order. There is a chance, however, he is not calling you because you broke one of the deadly sins of dating and all of his previous interests of you flushed down the proverbial toilet.
Sin #7: Avoid Talking About Your Ex
Ladies, no matter what, your date does not want to think about you and your ex having sex. So, whatever you do, bite your tongue, or remember your out with a new man you want to see more than one night so, do NOT mention your ex, even in jest. Keep your date interested in you by talking about things you enjoy: your career, places you have visited, and hobbies. You can freshen up your conversation by discussing hot topics on today’s inside track on current events, as well. These topics of discussion will most likely help you get the second date.
Sin #6: Avoid Making the Word “Date” Larger Than Life
You want to make the best impression on him so you go shopping and buy the most expensive dress blowing all your money on an outfit you may never where again, meanwhile fantasizing about imaginary, future wedding arrangements. Talk about setting yourself up for failure! Slow down and remember it is just a date for dinner, you do not know too much about this person, and you need to stop fantasizing about things that do not exist for the two of you in reality. Say this mantra while looking in the mirror: “It is just dinner!” Go out and have fun, enjoy yourself, and do not expect it to lead anywhere – if it does then you can be pleasantly surprised.
Sin #5: Avoid the Bad Cop Routine
Where did he grow up? What does he do for work? What does he do on his day off from work? What are his pet peeves? What are his political views? Avoid interrogating your date. Getting to know someone takes time. Most men think if they talk about their views on the war – he might be eating his words if you have an opposite opinion. He is right. Avoid asking questions you might be uncomfortable answering. Ease up, relax, and remember it takes time and patience to date well.
Sin #4: Avoid Saying “We”
You have been out a few dates, kissed a lot, things seem to be moving in the right direction, and then you blow it dropping the “we bomb.” To be frank, it oozes desperation. Do not assume you are exclusive, until you, BOTH agree to be. It usually takes a man three to five months before he looks at the two of you as being exclusive, and it may take a man six plus months before he says the “L” word.
Sin #3: Avoid Sex
Your hormones are intense and you want him so badly. You tear off all of his and your clothes and jump in the sack on the first date. You think you are not doing anything wrong. Unfortunately, you are kidding yourself if you think there is nothing wrong with having sex too soon.Dating and the seduction of dating are all about two little words called “challenge and mystery.” Men like challenges and want you to be mysterious. It is very hard for a man to see mystery in a woman who drops her panties for him at a moment’s notice. Men are hunters after all and they like the challenge of the chase. You become more interesting and possibly someone he considers as being his exclusive girlfriend when you hold out as long as possible for sex.Avoid asking your date inside your place for a drink, at the end of the date. Look for ways the two of you can be together without removing any article of clothing. Avoid putting yourself in situations where the two of you are completely alone. Instead, do fun activities that are out in public with other people around. He will respect you more if you respect yourself.
Sin #2: Avoid Being Rude to Other People
You are out to dinner and the waiter accidentally spills your drink on you. You jump out of your chair and demand to see the house manager. You think you are looking assertive and as a strong independent woman, but instead, you are making your date wonder if you might yell and scream at him one day.Avoid scenes of any kind. If the scenario above happens to you, just breathe and politely ask for some club soda and tell the waiter, in a kind voice, “Not to worry. It will come out at the cleaners.” One of the most important things to remember is…“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you handle it.”
Sin #1: Avoid Becoming His Mirror Image
He likes the movie “The Lord of the Rings” so you by the entire trilogy to impress him. He likes playing golf with his friends so you sign up to take golf lessons with an expert. If he wanted to date himself, he would not be out on a date with you. Of course, you want to have some things in common, but turning into a mirror image of him is not sexy. Show him you are sexy by being comfortable and confident about what makes you...you.
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