Breaking up with someone is one of the toughest things you have to do to end a bad relationship. The act basically breaks your heart and your soon to be ex-partner. You may have enough reasons to break up with them, but how come it is still difficult for you to do it? The fact is that there’s no easy way to break up with someone, and you’ll never fully be okay with it. Below are some advices you can take in doing the most difficult task you have to do:
Analyzing the relationship
First thing to ask yourself, have things circled around your relationship. You have to validate why you are decided to break up with this person. When you figure out what the breaking point was, you can consider discussing the issue with your partner and think about a potential solution. If you can work something out, then you may not need to break up at all. If similar issues have already been discussed before and no changes have been made, then breaking up is the best option to put an end to the vicious cycle. You need to analyze everything first though.
What to say first in the break up
It is recommended that you explain first your reasons why you are breaking up when you schedule that talk with your partner. Write the reasons ahead of time and make sure that you remember them despite of the emotional discussion you are going to have. It is also best that you speak with a close and trusted friend first to help you sort your thoughts. They might help you get organized for the break up.
How long will the break up take?
One of the things you also have to be prepared for is your preferred duration for the discussion. How long do you think you can cope up discussing all the issues you’ve had with your partner? Typically, the actual talk may be extensive, most especially if your partner is distressed or totally shocked about your choice. It is highly recommended that you stick to the points you have to say, so it will be easier for both parties. The conversation may just prolong if you do not focus on the issues to be discussed. An hour of conversation is expected to happen, and possibly longer if you were together for a long time. It is safe to also tell your soon-to-be ex-partner that you are scheduled to meet up with someone so it will be easier for you to leave.
What not to do in the break up
One rule you have to keep in mind is to end the relationship in person. You may find it easier to break up with your partner through a phone call, IM or email. Do not even think of committing this because it can also be misunderstood as heartless and cowardly. You have to look into the person’s eyes when you have that talk. Moreover, breaking up by pulling a disappearing act should never be an option. Closure is required in all relationships. If not done, the other person may suffer from a psychological damage.
Keeping the peace in the relationship
End the relationship peacefully. If you opt to use the alarming words "We need to talk", your partner will know instantly that there is a problem, and that's not a bad thing. You have to be very calm and armed with answers. You have to be in saner state since you are the one breaking up. Offer a talk and discuss with him/her that you've finally decided to put closure in your relationship.
Dealing with a bad reaction
As the person responsible for the actual break up, you should expect reactions such as questioning, crying, arguing, bargaining or begging and sometimes threatening. You have to start on putting distance from your partner. Undeniably, it will be very difficult, but that is one move you have to take to move on with your life. You have to realize that it is usual part of life, and to the degree that it is painful, it is normal. There will be times that you have to be the heartbreaker and times when you have to be the heartbroken. It is hurting but that’s how we all learn and live life again.
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