Anyone that has ever gone through a bad breakup knows about the unbearable pain that results. You won’t be able to heal your friend’s pain but you can offer a shoulder to cry on – and sometimes that’s all your friend needs. If your friend has gone through a breakup and you’re the designated shoulder, take a look at these tips for comforting your friend.
Be Patient
Although you’re going to want to get your friend out of the house and back into the game ASAP, you’re going to have to be patient. She is going to be gloomy and depressed for a few weeks, or maybe even months. Even if she is acting pathetic and self-defecating, you need to see her through this stage. You need to be there for her but respect her distance because she will probably want time alone for a while.
Let Her Talk
There will be a time when she wants your advice, but initially you need to let her talk. If she is one of those introverted individuals then bring up a subject that will get her talking about it, because it will do no good for her to keep it in. No matter how much you want to jump in and convince her that she’s better off without him, refrain yourself. She doesn’t want a preacher she just wants someone that is going to listen to her. Always remind her that no matter what happens you’re going to be there for her.
Don’t Be Negative
Your friend knows that her ex is a jerk, you don’t have to be the one to tell her. For some time she is going to be convinced that he is going to come back to her and you shouldn’t try to convince her otherwise (yet). She has just broken up with him and the wounds are fresh, if you tell her that he’s dirt and he doesn’t love her anymore, you’re going to break her heart. She doesn’t need anymore negativity in her life than she already has due to her own pain – vent about your nasty feelings to someone else.
Try To Get Her Out
After some time has passed you should try to get her out of the house. She won’t heal if she is trapped inside by herself all day. Do not suggest that she go out and date (she will do this in her own time) but try to get her to come out with you to keep busy. Suggest an activity that you know she likes, tell her you’ll pick her up, and just have a good time. Don’t invite other people – she might not want to be surrounded by tons of people.
Be Real With Her
Oftentimes, the ex boyfriend will come back and try to get back with his girl. Whether he realized that he made a mistake, he is done fooling around with other girls, or he realized that it’s more beneficial for him to be with her, this is going to create a dilemma for her. It’s going to be difficult for her to turn him down and this is when it’s time for you to be real with her. Call her ex out on all of the mean things he did and make sure that she realizes that history repeats itself, and she could be setting herself up for the same pain.
Be Supportive
No matter how much you’re going to have to bite your tongue, you need to support your friend. Despite the advice that you give her, she is going to make her own decisions. Even though you know what she is getting herself into, sometimes a person needs to make their own mistakes. Don’t treat her man differently, don’t refuse to hang out with him and don’t be rude to him – you won’t scare him away, you’ll only put your friend in a bad position.
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