When a couple has been dating for a while, life can slip into a comfortable routine. When two people are happy together, one or both of them may see no reason to change the recipe. The problem arises when one of them would really like to get married and the other just does not seem to respond to innuendos. The side of the relationship that seems to resist change is usually the man’s. Perhaps men are creatures of habit and like things to stay just as they are; especially if they are quite content in their current arrangement. We have all heard of the less than complimentary expression ‘Why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free’, or even worse, ‘Why buy a whole pig when you can play with a little sausage for nothing…’ Both sentiments highlight the wisdom of staying single because you can have sex without getting married, but the truth is some people still want the piece of paper and the meringue dress and the bridesmaids. So here are some tips to help you get your man to pop the question:
Asking him about the idea of marriage
The obvious way to go about this is to ask him if he wants to get married and if not, why not, but perhaps that is too direct and a rejection all too easy, not to mention devastating. There is no point, however, in trying to drop insipid hints over breakfast: men are famously non-receptive to camouflaged questions. It is better to raise the subject in some way and perhaps try to learn what his views are on marriage and weddings. If he coughs over his cornflakes, it’s a sure sign he has an aversion to wedding cake.
Trying to tell him that marriage isn’t bad
Independence is a precious commodity for some and he might be reluctant to part with his. Try to find out if this is the case and if it is, assure him he is not going to lose his grasp on individuality by getting married. Give him examples of couples you know (friends or parents, perhaps) that maintain a level of independence while still being together.
Using friend to drop hints about marriage
Invite some happily married friends to dinner so that he can see getting hitched does not involve permanent disfigurement or being barred from the game on Saturdays. When the friends ask, “So, when are you two going to take the plunge?” (They always ask - it’s just a matter of time), you can leave the answer to him. That way you can find out what his thoughts on marriage are without actually asking him anything yourself.
Analyzing whether or not YOU want to get married
The golden rule in such situations is always to know your own mind. There is little to be gained by trying to persuade someone else to do something you are hardly sure you want in the first place. Take the time to analyze your own feelings and be certain that marriage is really a step you want to take and why. If it is because you want to start a family, you might be well advised to find out what your partner’s outlook is on that subject before you start manipulating a proposal. He may be quite keen on marriage but have an aversion to children and not want any!
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