The subject of feminism can be such a touchy one that the topic could easily be described as the new “F” word. But despite sometimes unflattering stereotypes, feminists run the gamut from the granny who burned her bra in years gone by to the woman who took offense at being called “little lady” yesterday; from the women’s studies major at the local university who stages protests against anti-female ideals to the production worker at the local factory who wants an extra quarter so she earns the same for equal work as the man standing next to her on the line; from those who might be described as radical or militant (or even, heaven forbid, “feminazi”) to those who may not even know they’re feminists.The truth of the matter is that most women in the Western world are feminists, whether they realize it or not. And while it’s certainly true that men can be (and are) feminists, this article focuses on women who actively acknowledge and self-identify as feminists.
Get familiar with feminist views
If you’re interested in dating a feminist, the first thing you’ll need to do is familiarize yourself with feminist beliefs and ideals. The concept is not, at its core, about women being superior to or hating/resenting men. Rather, feminism is about equality for all regardless of gender. Despite what talking heads on TV might have you believe, feminism isn’t just about equality in pay and professional opportunities, but instead extends to belief in and support of equal rights for all people across the board, whether that be in the realm of monetary compensation, health and reproductive issues, sexuality, religious rights, etc. This is basically a bare bones definition, so it’s in your best interest to do a little research about the history, plight, and goals of feminism so you have a better background on the subject. You don’t have to be an expert on women’s studies to date a feminist, but remember that if she self-identifies as such she’ll likely be confident and well-versed on the subject.
Should I treat her like a guy?
A recent posting on an Internet site soliciting answers from the general public posed the question of how to date a feminist, and the most popular reply was, “Don't. But, if you insist, wear a cup, don't open any doors, act soft and limp-wristed, and treat her like a man.” This? This is not a good idea; in fact, it is a great example of a bad idea. But questions about how to treat a feminist woman on a date are valid since beliefs in the movement can vary.
Some common issues with dating a feminist
Some things, of course are obvious. If you’re on a dinner date you likely wouldn’t do the old-school thing of ordering for your date anyway, but it’s a given that you’ll want to skip this antiquated practice if you’re dining with a feminist.Other issues you might encounter during a date with a feminist will likely include actions associated with good manners and politeness. Many feminists are fine with men opening doors for them. But if your date comments on it or looks chagrined, you’ll know better next time. If you’re going out for dinner, ask your date politely if you can help her with her chair. If she says yes, you might get bonus points for having good manners. If she declines your offer, at least you asked politely and didn’t take for granted that she’d want or expect help. Offer to pay the check if you asked her out, but don’t push your luck if she insists on going dutch.
Treat others well to treat her well
There’s an unwritten rule among women that the way a man treats the help is indicative of the way he’ll treat her. When you’re dating a feminist it’s very important to treat the wait staff and other service people with politeness and deference regardless of their gender, since equality is the most important aspect of feminism.Whether you already identify as a male feminist or just follow these guidelines while on a date with a feminist, realize that feminism is important to your date’s identify and is a way of life for her. Your partner will expect you to be able to translate your politics into your personal life, not just impress her for a couple of dates.
Add your reply to AskMyGF