While it’s easy to find a romantic interest who doesn’t have a history of use and abuse, drug addiction is common enough in our society that you might find yourself attracted to a former drug addict. If you decide to pursue a romantic relationship with a former drug addict, you’ll need to take some steps and consider some particular things to protect both yourself and your potential paramour.
Learn how they got over the drugs
Most experts in this field discourage addicts from dating early in the recovery process, since that can mean trading reliance on one thing (drugs) for another (a boyfriend or girlfriend.) Find out how the person overcame his or her addiction, as well as how long that person has been clean. You will probably also want to know what kind of drug the person was addicted to and whether or not they were illegal or prescription. While discussing this might be uncomfortable, it’s important to have as many facts as you can so you can make an informed decision.
See how you feel about the matter
Ask yourself if you feel safe dating a person who has had a drug problem. Drug addicts often fraternize with unsavory people and are in dangerous situations, so you’ll want to know if the person has cut ties with the people with whom he or she associated during the addiction phase. Another good indication of drug addicts’ real recovery is if they take responsibility for their actions and have and are now holding down regular jobs or perhaps even attending recovery meetings, although not all former addicts achieved freedom from drug addiction through twelve-step programs.
Set ground rules about drugs
Once you’re romantically involved with a person who has a past addiction to drugs, you need to lay some ground rules. While former drug addiction doesn’t necessarily equal future mistakes, you’ll need to make it abundantly clear from the very beginning that you won’t tolerate a return to drug use of any kind even if it’s casual and that you consider that grounds for immediately ending the relationship. Solid romantic relationships are difficult enough to create and maintain, and you don’t need worries about returning to drug use or addiction to further complicate them since relapse can result in emotional pain, abuse and neglect.
Avoid tempting situations
To help the person avoid a return to a lifestyle involving drugs, you need to avoid situations and environments that might make that more likely. For instance, if you’re a casual marijuana user (say, you smoke weed at parties) or enjoy cocktails every now and again, then be prepared not to do that in front of a person with a history of drug abuse. On the flip side, remember that you’re not responsible for the other person’s actions and that ultimately they have to take the proper precautions to ensure that they don’t relapse.On a related note, you can help the person avoid pitfalls that might lead to a return to drug use and abuse while by encouraging them to talk about their be open and honest about their addiction, especially if they feel like they’re on the verge of relapse. If the person has been through a twelve-step or rehabilitation program, it’s likely that they’ve identified their triggers. You should be aware of these triggers as well so you can avoid them or address them if they are encountered. You should also do your own research so that you know the typical signs of drug use and abuse, which will help you identify a relapse early on and make a decision about how – or whether – you want to proceed with the relationship.
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