There is an old saw that says, “The law is a jealous mistress.” If you are already dating a judge, you have almost certainly already found this to be true. But there are some things you can keep in mind that will help you have a successful relationship.
Be honest…ALWAYS
Most importantly, remember that judges very often are going to be able to detect how truthful you are being. One thing that judges are usually very skilled at because of the nature of their work is discerning whether or not a person is lying. As such, being very honest will be a key component of your relationship – or else you will have to be very adept at lying skillfully.
Know your position in an argument
Keep in mind that judges are often skilled negotiators because their background as lawyers required them to be such. Furthermore, judges command a lot of respect and deference in their courtrooms. This means that you may be at a disadvantage when you two are in an argument, especially if you don’t have a background in law or experience as a debater.
Know the danger associated with being a judge
It is also important to remember that a judge’s job means that he or she works closely with criminals. You need to be aware of the fact that judges can sometimes be targets of dangerous people, which means their lives – and the one you are sharing with them – might be at risk. This means that sometimes the judge (and you, by extension) might have to take special precautions or avoid going out to ensure the safety of both of you. Further, the special times you spend together should be treasured all the more because of the risks inherent to the job.
Be the right partner for a judge
If you are dating someone who sits on the bench, you should consider your past well as how you conduct yourself in public. Keep in mind that judges are very visible members of the community whose behavior must be above reproach, so it’s a given that they will be judged by the company they keep. Because what you do reflects on those with whom you associate, your actions and lifestyle should never imperil the judge’s reputation or call into question his or her impartiality; in short, conduct yourself with decorum so neither you nor the judge ever run the risk of being convicted in the court of common opinion.
Respect the confidentiality of the job
Understand that sometimes confidentiality issues prohibit your partner from talking about cases over which he or she is providing. This may be true even if a case is getting a lot of media attention, so be respectful of this provision and don’t press for details.
Where to find a judge
If you’re actively seeking to date a judge, find out what the local hangout is for people in the legal community. In many cities such a place exists, usually in close proximity to the courthouse or other buildings where legal work is conducted. Judges are also often very community minded, so consider belonging to or attending functions sponsored by community groups if you want to get into a judge’s legal briefs.
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