Dating can be intimidating enough and fraught with tension on its own, but pursuing a romantic relationship with a preacher brings its own special set of obstacles to the table. Here are some tips when you find that you have to ask a godly man out:
Understanding a preacher
The first thing you need to understand about dating a pastor is that many religious denominations have specific rules outlining how single men and women who are ordained should go about dating. Many of these rules are rooted in religious doctrine and ethical considerations to which the pastor is obligated to adhere.Because of the potential for the appearance of impropriety, pastors are sometimes prohibited from pursuing romantic relationships with their own parishioners. Because religious leaders are in positions of authority, a minister who is fraternizing with members of his or her own flock might be viewed as having the potential to take advantage of individuals in his or her own congregation. For this reason, those rules are put in place to protect both the pastor and the parish members.
What a preacher will look for
Sometimes, however, those “rules” are treated more like guidelines. And because it stands to reason that a pastor will be looking for a person who has similar interests and religious ideals, members of his or her parish are logical choices for romantic pursuits. Nevertheless, ministers are often uncomfortable with asking out members of their own flock because they don’t want to make a congregant uncomfortable or appear to be doing anything unseemly. However, if you feel that there’s a mutual attraction between you and your pastor, it’s perfectly acceptable to ask that person out. Just like with any potential date, the worst that can happen is that person will decline your overture.
How public your relationship should be
If you do find yourself dating a minister – whether that person is your pastor or the leader of another congregation – there are some things you should take into consideration. For instance, it’s usually unwise to let your budding romantic relationship become public knowledge too soon. It’s generally a good idea to be discreet about your dating in case the relationship doesn’t work out.That said, being discreet is not the same thing as being sneaky. Being seen in public with a pastor is usually a good idea since it shows that you don’t have anything to hide. Preachers are usually highly visible members of the community who are held to a higher standard, so they have to be conscious of the people with whom they keep company so others don’t become suspicious or gossipy. Moreover, ministers will often take things more slowly, giving friendships the chance to grow into something more if they think there’s potential for a romantic relationship.
Not praising him for praising God
Despite their positions of religious authority, pastors themselves usually don’t want to be put on pedestals. Remember that ordained ministers are just normal people who happen to have answered calls to special religious service. They don’t expect special treatment or deference based on their job in their romantic relationships.
Finding a preacher
If you’re looking specifically seeking a relationship with an ordained minister but aren’t attracted to your own pastor, consider searching online. There are websites that seek to match preachers looking for love with viable partners. It’s also a good idea to frequent forums designed for people of the same faith who have single members in ministry, which increases your chances of making a connection with a preacher.
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