Believe it or not, there are a lot of “straight” men out there who have a thing for gay men. Most of these guys are entering a transitional phase where they are either learning to be bisexual or gay altogether. They find gay men to be polished and pristine, similar to some of the women in their lives. They find gays like "diamonds in the rough," rare and beautiful in every light. Normally, straight men who are opening their doors to dating gay men are on the process of self discovery phase on their sexual preference. Nowadays, they are being dubbed by society as “on-again-off-again gays,” and they’ve started to emerge a lot more in recent years. This leaves us with the question of how to date someone who is gay if you’re straight. There is a big difference between asking a gay man out and asking a straight woman out. You’ll want to adjust according to the situation.
Choosing the right man
You should have in mind what you’re looking for in a man before you even go on the prowl for one. Create a list in your head of the characteristics you like in a gay. This may sound like an impractical advice, but by doing this you can help yourself concentrate on finding the suitable gay date for you. This is especially important if it’s your first encounter like this. Figure out what you’re looking for exactly. It may have something to do with their height, hair color or even race to build your ideal gay date. You might be amazed by how many gays can actually meet the qualifications you have listed down. But of course, choosing dates do not end there – it’s not all about the physical look. You have to also ask yourself as to what kind of character would you like him to have. What about his private life? Have an open mind for everyone, but go into the event knowing what you’re looking for.
Going on a search for a man
You should not expect gay men to just flock to you and arrange themselves for you to pick and choose. Sometimes you have to go to them. Gay men are everywhere, so you should have a hard time finding one you like. If you like gays who drink, you have to take time in hanging out in bars and discos. Go where those types of gays go. Join a theater group if you wish to date a gay who is into acting. If you want someone who is a health buff, then you can enroll in a fitness club, because more than likely that's where he'll be most of the time. Go where your kind of guy would logically go.
Attracting the gay man
Most of the time, you'll attract the type of gay who appreciate the hints and signs you're conveying to them. If you use your body to send signals, chances are they’ll pick up on it. If you find that you're always meeting the wrong type of gay men, try shifting to a new attitude to attract a new type. If it is not common for you to laugh, try giving them a quick smile. If you tend to be arrogant, try to loosen up a bit. Choose an image that reflects the type of man you want to appeal to.
Being a good date
It is quite typical for most gay men to wait for their knight in shining armor to come and get them. All you have to do is establish eye contact and be that night for them. Make that move. Who doesn't want an attractive guy like you to talking to them, right? Wow the gay man with your charm and wit, and let him know you’re the right one for him.
Speaking to a gay guy
If you have boosted your confidence to approach a guy, you should be ready with what you are to say to him. Start the conversation by establishing common interests. It’s easier if you have already tried breaking the ice. You can start sharing your insights or comments on something that you find exceptional about him (style, hair, etc..) You can do it in a sweet and witty way. This will help ease the man’s nerves and you’ll get extra bonus points from the start.
Being in charge of what you say
It is good to start off with honesty and openness on your first date, but it is still recommended that you don't give too much information too soon. You have to aim on that “connection” with him that can further result to greater experience in during the initial stages. Slow down and take enough time to get to know each other. The personal details you wish to share about your life and your feelings will be revealed naturally at a later time. The first date may not be the time yet to discuss about his stress from work or the emotional baggage that you keep. Hang out and start to get comfortable sharing with one another. This way no one will feel uncomfortable.
Facing rejection
If the gay guy doesn’t like you, then go find another one. There are a ton of gay guys around. Just start your search like you did before. Don’t let emotions stop you from finding a great guy to be with. Your gay man will come along in due time.
2 Replies
Ali / Woman / Likes Men / Single
thanks for the guidance.
Miami / Man / Likes Women / Single
I disagree with everything you've said here. I've done some counseling, for a while I counseled lesbians who wanted to be straight or who, at least, were unhappy as lesbians.
Believe it or not, most people who are homosexuals are not happy campers. Most get into their situation as a result of making one or two real bad decisions. One woman, a lesbian, was 21 when I met her, had been approached by a 15-year old girl for sex when she was only 13.
Now 13 is young but she knew what she was doing and although she hates herself today, she's responsible for her choices.
I also counseled a man, 33 or 35 now, (I'm not sure,) who was taken into his father's bed for sex from the age of six, until he told a teacher in his high school, at age 16.
He is one of the few people who I don't think is responsible for who he is. He had no choice.