Dating someone who is smarter than you can present its own unique challenges. Most of these challenges are related to your self-esteem and level of comfort in the relationship, and the way the other person treats you is another important factor to consider.
How is the person smarter?
If you feel like the person you’re dating or want to date is smarter than you and are wondering if this relationship is destined for doom because of that difference, you need to ask yourself exactly what you mean by “smarter” in this case. For instance, is the other person simply better educated than you or just more intelligent? If the answer is the former, keep in mind that an education alone doesn’t make a person super smart; it just means he or she has had the opportunity to learn things in a formal setting – and probably had to pay for it. But just because a person has been exposed to a wider variety of things from an academic standpoint doesn’t mean that person is smarter than you.
Analyze your feelings
However, if the answer is the latter and the person truly is smarter than you, there are still other considerations. How does that difference in intelligence make you feel? It’s also important to consider whether the difference in intelligence levels is substantial enough that it affects how you interact with each other. Will the person or does the person treat you differently because of these differences? If the answer is yes, then you need to remember that a person who belittles another for his or her intelligence (or lack thereof) probably won’t make a good partner. No one wants to be involved in a romantic relationship where the other person is condescending or acts superior. On a related note, you run the risk of being taken advantage of by your romantic interest if the other person thinks he or she can get away with it. A person who belittles or takes advantage of you because of a difference in intelligence doesn’t respect you, and respect is in an extremely important foundation for a real relationship.
Realize how smart you actually are
Remember also that just because the other person is smarter, that doesn’t make you stupid. The concept of “average” exists in our language for a reason, and people have to be above and below that line for the concept to work. This has just as much to do with the way you view and treat yourself as it does the way the other person views or treats you. Possessing self-confidence and self-respect is important in any relationship, but it’s especially important if you find yourself involved with or interested in someone who has higher intelligence.In the last 25 years the academic community has finally caught onto to something that the rest of us have known for awhile, and that’s that people have different kinds of intelligences. This theory of multiple intelligences
Share some common ground
If you decide to pursue or are already involved in a relationship with someone who’s smarter than you, you’ll need to figure out what commonalities you share and determine if those shared aspects are enough to keep the relationship fresh and interesting. Similarly, your differences that aren’t rooted in intelligence play a role in the relationship as well. Maybe the other person is attracted to you because of your zeal for life or incomparable compassion for others. If other aspects of your relationship can be fulfilled by one another – especially those are of the emotional and physical varieties – then that’s often more important than the fact that the other person will likely win every game of Trivial Pursuit.When it comes right down to it, the most important test of the potential success of a relationship between two people of differing intelligence levels has less to do with your respective IQs and more to do with your communication with and support of one another.
Add your reply to AskMyGF