With nearly half of all marriages ending in divorce, there are a great many people getting back into dating, sometimes after many years of marriage. While many of these choose not to date until the divorce is final, there are many who are more than ready to move on before all the paperwork is complete. Especially when there is property and children involved, it can take months, or even years for a divorce to be finalized. Sometimes, a divorce is simply too expensive, and both parties just agree to go their separate ways indefinitely.
Analyzing your situation
Dating someone who is separated can be a challenge, but there are so many variations on this situation, it’s important to look at each person’s circumstances separately. Probably one of the biggest considerations when dating someone who has recently left a long-term relationship is whether or not they are ready to move on. Everyone is different, and just because the paperwork and court process is complete, it doesn’t mean that someone is ready to move on emotionally.By the same token, plenty of people are more than ready to get into a new relationship long before the legal system says they are legally no longer married. It’s not that uncommon for couples who have been separated for years, and haven’t had any contact with their ex in just as long.
Realizing that they AREN’T divorced yet
One thing you do need to be aware of when dating someone whose divorce is not yet final, is that most will still have to have significant contact with their ex spouse while going through the process. And since a divorce can often be drawn-out and painful, be prepared to deal with some drama in the meantime. Also be aware that the ex of the person you are dating may not be happy about them moving on. You might be subjected to some personal attacks, or the ex-spouse may try to use you as leverage in an effort to show wrong-doing on the part of your significant other.
Protecting your emotions in the situation
If someone is very recently separated, they may simply not be ready to truly move on. They may be eager to enter into a new, better relationship, but the very first one out the gate may very well end up being a “rebound” relationship. Be a little bit cautious, and protect yourself. Your significant other may think they are ready for a new, long-term relationship. But they may also be enjoying some newfound freedom and may not be in a big hurry to move into another serious commitment so soon after a big break-up.
Helping the person through the divorce
Dating someone who is separated can be challenging, but it’s important to not make too many assumptions based on their legal status, and instead look at each situation individually. Realize that the divorce process can be upsetting and dramatic, but that it will pass. Once it’s over, your significant other will appreciate that you stood by him, and will be ready to create a new life with you. As after any break-up, some time needs to go by, and since the legal process of a divorce can often drag on endlessly, a new relationship can be just the thing to make a person feel like they can get on with life, even if the paperwork isn’t quite ready!
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