The rules of behavior that apply to dating someone with an eating disorder vary, depending on the kind of disorder the person might be suffering from. Obviously, if you are dating someone suffering from Anorexia, your behavior is going to be different than if you were going out with someone who is obese. No matter what though, if your partner has a problem, you will undoubtedly have to help them along the way. It may be hard, but it’s something you have to do for love. Here are some tips when you are dating someone with an eating disorder:
Talking about the disorder
The one rule that applies in every case of eating disorder is that no person wants to talk at length and in sordid detail about the reasons they either refuse to eat or eat too much or eat and then vomit, and so on. You , their partner, have to take to them about their disorder even when they don’t want to. They’ll be stubborn and probably resent you for it, but if they love you enough, they’ll eventually see that you are only trying to help.
Helping them get over the disorder
Try to let your partner know that you love them and think they are beautiful no matter what size they are. You have to help them get over their self esteem issues or personal problems that are causing them to behave that way. If they think they are too fat, tell them that they aren’t or find them a good HEALTHY diet to go on. Join them on the diet if you have to. Just get your partner motivated to stop the eating disorder.
Don’t draw attention to the disorder in public
Whatever else you do, never make passing remarks about your date disappearing to the bathroom to get rid of her lunch or the amount of food she eats or does not eat. Unless, of course, you wish to never see the lady again. Drawing attention to an eating problem in any way is the perfect nightmare for someone who suffers with a disorder. Their eating habits will not be improved by your airing your views and in fact they might even worsen, so keep your mouth firmly shut on the subject. If you have a personal opinion to share, make sure you share it when you are alone with your date and when you have been invited to talk about it.
Don’t get mad that she didn’t eat all of her food
If you are in a position where you have to pay for a meal for your partner, or for a ticket which includes a meal, do not try to get a refund because the meal was not eaten and certainly not in front of your date. Do not make excuses to your hostess for your date not eating: leave that to her. She will be quite practiced at making her apologies and you will only embarrass her by apologizing for her.
Dealing with someone with an over eating disorder
If your date has the opposite problem – obesity – be tactful. Do not make pointed remarks like, “I guess you’ll be wanting the DIET version…?” or “Would you prefer salad to fries?” You may as well stand up in the restaurant and shout, “She’s fat!!!” Overweight people sometimes have a problem that is connected with something other than overeating and if you liked this lady enough to ask her out, try not to offend her or hurt her feelings. Treat people who have an eating disorder as you would treat any other friend that you enjoy spending time with. Over time, they will confide in you the reasons behind the disorder and you might of some real help. In the meantime; be diplomatic.
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