Twenty-five years ago people who received an HIV positive or AIDS diagnosis faced certain death and seldom pursued romantic relationships. But thanks to innovative drug cocktails and other medical research, our ability to treatment of these diseases means that such a diagnosis is no longer a death sentence. This improved medical treatment means that people who have HIV or AIDS can now live long, productive lives, and many have discovered that having a romantic relationship can be part of their future as well as their past. Still, if you find yourself attracted to or dating someone with HIV/AIDS, there are concerns specific to your situation that you should consider.
Know about the disease
Unfortunately, there is still a real stigma and a strong sense of fear attached to people who have HIV/AIDS despite the continuing improvements in our ability to treat these diseases. If you’re dating or considering dating someone who is HIV positive or who has AIDS, the first thing you’ll want to do is educate yourself thoroughly about everything from the transmission to the treatment of these diseases.
Always be honest
If you go into a relationship knowing that someone is HIV positive or has AIDS, then you probably have a pretty solid foundation of communication and trust. The important thing will be to maintain this practice of openness and honesty with one another, especially as more people become aware of the person’s HIV status. You’ll need to discuss how you should broach the subject with family and friends, as well as what your response will be if you encounter negative or hateful reactions.
Give the HIV/AIDS person a chance
If you have been on several dates with someone and then find out they have HIV/AIDS, you don’t necessarily have to automatically write that person off. If the person told you him/herself about the disease rather than you finding out by accident or through a separate party, chances are the HIV/AIDS positive person was waiting for the right time to tell you. People who are afflicted with this disease face a dilemma they call “kiss and tell v. tell and kiss.” Many people opt to “kiss and tell”: that is, date someone for a bit without becoming physically involved to see if the relationship has real potential before divulging the HIV/AIDS status information. Others opt to “tell and kiss,” which means they divulge their status from the get-go. Both approaches have their advantages, and those who opt for the “kiss and tell” route usually do so because they don’t want to divulge their status or subject themselves unnecessarily to ridicule before they’re sure there’s a real chance for a romantic relationship.
Be careful in sex
Most people with HIV/AIDS are constantly aware of their status. They tend to be very cautious when it comes to the possibility of their transmitting the disease to others. Whether or not to have a sexual relationship with the HIV/AIDS positive person you’re dating is for you to decide as a couple, but the chances of your contracting the virus if you are sexually active are very low. The most recent study on the subject found that in couples where one person is HIV positive and the other isn’t, only 12% of non-infected partners were eventually infected if the couples used condoms most of the time. However, when couples consistently used condoms, NONE of the non-infected partners contracted the virus.For more information about dating a person with HIV/AIDS, find another person who has an infected partner or join a community online that focuses on people who have tested positive for HIV or AIDS.
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