Although the unwritten rule is that you should never date your best friend’s exes, sometimes you can’t help or change who you have feelings for. While their relationship didn’t work out, a relationship with you might, especially if handled properly. Here are a few tips to dating your best friend’s ex.
Don’t hide your feelings about the ex
You tell your best friend everything, so tell him/her this. He/she may be a little upset at first, but he/she would be more upset if he/she found out later. Plus, chances are if you already have feelings for this person, your best friend is going to know that something is up. Also, sometimes it is helpful to just sit down and explain the way you feel.
Ask permission to date your friend’s ex
This may seem trivial. You may even think ‘Why do I need his/her permission?’ However, depending on how the break up went, your friend may still be hurt over the relationship. If they are your support is needed and dating his/her ex is completely out of the question at this point. Although if the break up was mutual and friendly, you should ask your friend’s permission to date his/her ex before pursuing any relationship. You should also understand if your friend doesn’t like the idea or doesn’t give permission. Keep in mind your friendship should always come first.
Don’t flaunt your new relationship
Even though your feelings are blossoming, you should not at any point rub your new relationship in your friend’s face. This will cause nothing more than hurt feelings and may cost you your friendship in the long run. This may actually become tricky. You will definitely need to find separate time to spend with both your friend and your new boyfriend/girlfriend.
Be considerate of your best friend
Although you may want to spend time with your friend and new partner together, you should understand if they are unwilling to do this at first. In your particular situation, forcing this issue may cause you to lose a friend and your new flame. You should also be respectful of their former relationship. Think of it as you being respectful of your friend. This should make that process much easier. Also, you may know every detail of your friend’s prior relationships. However, you should be considerate of your new love and not compare the two. This will undoubtedly cause endless fights.
Most important…respect your best friend
Overall, the most important thing to remember in this situation is respect. This means to respect your new relationship as well as your friendship. Also, don’t expect your relationship to be a good or bad as your friend’s former relationship. You and your friend are not the same and your new boyfriend/girlfriend should understand this. Finally, for the sake of your friendship, you should be truly respectful of your friend’s feelings. This includes not displaying too much affection in front of him/her. You also understand if there are some awkward moments between the three of you. Your friend may no longer have those feelings for him/her, but the memories are still there.
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