From spits to spats to full fledge blow outs, every relationship has its disagreements. Believe it or not, this can actually be a healthy process in your relationship. However, a disagreement is only helpful when done properly. Well, here are a few tips that may make your next argument at least somewhat productive.
Keep communication open
This is the most important thing you can do as a couple regardless of disagreement or agreement. You should try to keep yourself open to your partner’s opinions as well. This doesn’t mean that you have to agree with everything they are saying, but hearing your significant other out with understanding and compassion can go a long way. Even though at times this can feel like an impossible task.
Don’t play offense in the argument
Try to remember that you as a couple are a team. So, attacking your teammate isn’t going to win the “game.” Your partner will immediately go to defense, and the fight begins. Try as best you can not to use the words “always” or “never”. For example, “You NEVER take out the trash. I ALWAYS do it.” This is nothing more than a glorified “Blame Game” and nobody ever wins. Also, don’t try to intimidate your partner into agreeing with you. It is perfectly ok to agree to disagree. This topic may just be something that the two of you can’t work out.
Truly listen to your partner’s opinions
There is such a thing as hearing a person and not listening to what they are being told. So, when it is your partner’s turn to talk, allow them this courtesy. Respectfully listen to everything they have to say and request that they do the same. This means listening without thinking. If you don’t understand a point they have made, stop and ask them to explain it to you. Let them know that you are listening to them. Don’t interrupt and request politely that your partner not interrupt you. Speaking calmly and respectfully to your significant other can save a battle from becoming a war.
Choose your fights properly
Pick and choose which battles are actually worth a fight as they may be better just left alone. Bickering over who is going to do the housework may not be worth the hassle in the long run. Also, most couples fight over sex, money and children. This is absolutely ridiculous, but true. These are all topics that the two of you should try to work as team to resolve. Find your common ground and work from there.
Something to remember in a fight
Finally, remember that you love this person. Don’t use any argument as an opportunity to be degrading or disrespectful to your partner in any way. When you do this, you lose track of the problem at hand and become so involved with demeaning each other that the initial issue is never resolved. Also, before discussing anything with your partner, ask yourself what you want to come from the discussion. Be patient with your significant other and with yourself.
Add your reply to AskMyGF