For most of us, masturbation is often more gratifying than sex. You should not be ashamed or upset over this. It is normal. After all, who knows your body better than you? However, this can sometimes be because of unsatisfying sex. This doesn’t mean that your partner is bad. Just that you require more. However, here are several tips that can help.
Talk about your problems
This should be your first step, as communication is the foundation to any relationship. Communicating with your partner, your concerns in a way that they will not feel inadequate is tricky though. Do not ever blame your partner or use the words “You don’t”. This is very important as this will put you partner on the defense and ultimately your conversation isn’t going to go well. However, this is not your fault either. It is quite simply a problem that you and your partner need to work together to resolve.
Add the masturbation into your sex routine
If you are not doing this already, a possible short-term fix may be adding this self-play to your sexual routine. This will often give you the best of both worlds, without having to discuss anything with your partner. Also, showing your partner how you like it can be a fun and sexy way to increase your pleasure while getting closer to your partner both emotionally and physically. Exploring each other’s bodies can also help to intensify pleasure. Often, we are goal oriented and forget to take our time. This can be especially true for couples that have been together for a while. So, take that step back and bring back the passion.
Is the problem emotional or physical?
Sometimes, the problem can be more emotional than physical. Whether it is stress in the relationship, at work, or personally, this can definitely effect how you feel about sex with your partner. So, resolving the emotional problems in your life, whatever they are can also help you to enjoy sex more. Also, you should understand that your partner may have the same issues or even others that you are unaware of. This may also affect his/her performance. Again, this is where talking to each other can be so important to staying in a sexually happy and healthy relationship.
Thoughts on masturbation versus sex
Overall, you and your partner should be constantly communicating, whether about the good, the bad, or the irrelevant. Try your best to explain your situation to your partner in a non-accusing manner. There is no room for the “Blame Game” in a relationship. You should both except the responsibility and duty of working out whatever minor or major problems (and this one is definitely not major) that come along. Also, remembering that your emotions will affect your sexual performance is key to getting through a “rough patch”. You should also try to take your time with your partner. Learn where his/her “heaviest” erogenous zones are. Regardless of how long you have been together, sometimes there is still uncharted territory. Finally, have fun with whatever you do. Stop worrying and the rest will come (pun intended).
Add your reply to AskMyGF