Dealing with break-ups is never an easy thing, and seeing your ex after a break-up is another oh-God-take-me-now moment that most people dread. However, seeing and knowing that your ex is dating someone close to you, like a friend or a family member, is more like rubbing salt to an already infected wound. Even though it may not be easy to deal with such matters, there are some steps you can take to heal that wound up over time. Here are some things you can do when faced with this extremely uncomfortable and even painful situation:
Analyzing the new relationship
First thing you need to ask yourself is this: Are you still in-love with your ex? What did you feel when you first found out about their new relationship? Are you hurt? Jealous? Infuriated? Or are you unaffected? If you answered yes to all of the questions except the last one, then you will need to do something about it. It’s clear that your ex has finally moved on, and perhaps you haven‘t. It just so happened that the person he’s currently dating is someone close to home. And what about that other person? Are you close to that friend/family? Do you think that that person has no intention of hurting you by going out with your ex? Regardless of their motives, anger will get you nowhere. It is better to face any situation with a clear head and a mature disposition.
Accepting the situation
Simply put, you need to get over it. Forget the past and move on. Accept the current situation as it stands and learn to deal with it. Maybe they really just want to go out. Perhaps they have no intention of hurting you. And maybe it’s high time that you forget whatever happened to you and your ex and start moving on. Don’t rouse more attention to yourself by reacting violently or giving snide remarks that would just make you look like a bitter ex. Just let them be. Or if you can’t, just pretend that you don’t care. It may not be the easiest thing to do, especially if you still have feelings for your ex, but you have to try. Just because you still love your ex, it doesn’t mean that he/she feels the same way about you. He/She’s obviously over you. People change, and you just have to accept that. And don’t get mad at your friend/family that he/she’s currently dating. Give him/her the benefit of the doubt. Don’t think that there’s an ulterior motive why he/she is going out with your ex. Maybe he/she really likes your ex and has no intention of hurting you. It would be better if you’d remain the same to that person. If you can’t force yourself to pretend, then don’t. Distance yourself from them.
Taking your mind off the situation
Indulge yourself in a new hobby to get your mind off things. Concentrate on your job, studies or whatever you’re currently into. Don’t waste your time moping and thinking about them when you know that you can make good use of that time doing other productive things. This will also help you grow as a person.
Getting back into the dating scene
If you’re already dating again, good for you. If you’re not, consider this as a good time to start going out again. You don’t have to find a new boyfriend or girlfriend ASAP just because your ex is going out with your friend/family though. Just allow yourself to mingle or hangout with the opposite sex again. Let yourself have a good time. Use this opportunity to prepare yourself for a new relationship sometime in the future. Just go with the flow and see what happens. Maybe you’ll wake up one day not thinking about your ex dating your friend but that wonderful guy/girl you went out with the other night.
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