Although there are many reasons why your significant other may cheat, none are comforting. There are even cases of people who say they are happy in there relationship that have cheated. Cheating on your partner can be the most hurtful and damaging thing one can do to a relationship. However, in the spirit of forgiveness, how do you get your cheater to be loyal? Well, here are a few tips that may help.
Explain the cheater’s actions
Sometimes getting a cheater to explain why they have cheated is enough to embarrass them to faithfulness. Understanding this may also help you decide if you want to stay in this relationship. Keep in mind that cheaters are generally ashamed of their actions. So, bringing these actions to light may in fact be just the push they need to turn from their cheating ways.
Set your boundaries and stick to them
Should you choose to keep your cheater around, set new boundaries for not only him/her, but for you as well. You may not be able to understand how or why your partner has hurt you, but if you have decided to forgive them, you must think there is a reason why. However, don’t be burned over and over. You are only a victim for so long, then you are a part of the problem, i.e. enabler. To get out of this enabling cycle, explain to your significant other that his/her cheating is unacceptable and you will not be with him/her if it continues. You must stand your ground on this. If they choose to continue with his/her hurtful behavior, you must move on.
Remember that revenge is a dish better served cold
Although this is not recommended, some couples receive some satisfaction in knowing that both parties have cheated. You are then on equal footing again. However, the hurt will then go both ways, so you should definitely be prepared for what may come of this. Although you may be able to forgive your partner for cheating on you, your partner may not have the same plans. So be very weary of the “Revenge will Solve It” theory.
Final thoughts about cheating…
Overall, no one but a cheater can understand another cheater. There is nothing wrong with you if you can’t. Everyone is set up differently. Also, you should not allow yourself to be sucked into a painful cycle of cheating. There truly are some cheetahs out there that cannot and will not change his/her spots. You should watch for this particular animal and remove it from your life as quickly as possible. Remember that you are the only one who can control your life, and by allowing a cheating partner, you give up some of that control. Next, do not believe any cheater that tells you that he/she cheated because of something you did. This is wholly untrue. Quite simply, he/she cheated because he/she wanted to and for no other reason. Whether it is the thrill of not getting caught or simply the curiosity, cheating is still the most selfish act your partner can do to your relationship, but only you can decide what you will and will not tolerate.
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