We all fear negative things (who does not?), but those things are there because we primarily know how to deal with it. All we have to do is to build up enough courage to face it. It’s the same with dating. Even in this digital age, there are still people who are so afraid of dating – or as others would call it – a plunge in the date hole. Here is a look as to what your fears about dating may be and how to conquer them:
Why men fear dating
For men, the reason for their fear of dating is rejection. It’s on the top of the list, same with the women. Though it’s the men that should be on the more risky side (which they should be used to), some stay safe and would choose to stay within their “worry-free” zone. During a date, both people are in close watch of almost everything – body language, voice, surroundings, and verbal cues. So usually men would assume that every move a woman makes would either be negative, positive, or “come and start the chase” signal. A single hint of a negative gesture would make a guy paranoid and assume that his date is quickly going down the drain – so everything he planned falls down. Obviously, the results will be negative and thus he will be extra hesitant with dating or worse – not date until such time that he feels he can take the plunge again. This is usually the reason why some men are afraid of dates. They stay away from failure.
Why women fear dating
With women, the usual reasons for their fear in dating would be – rejection, trauma from a previous one, and the fear of being mistreated or being disrespected. We can’t blame them though – there have been a lot of cases of date rape. Women are also afraid that their date might not like how they look – or they just simply fear the possibility of seeing a disastrous date. They are also afraid that they might mess up in front of their date and do embarrassing things. In some cases, they just get uncomfortable right away and stay quiet and just smile for the duration of the date.
Getting over the fear
So what can you do to let fear stay outside your mind when you’re on our date? In the first place, you shouldn’t be afraid at all! You have to realize that dating is all mind over matter. If you don’t think about it, it won’t happen. Just push the fear right out of your mind. The truth is that your greatest fears in dating probably will NEVER happen. A girl won’t pants you in a crowd. People won’t laugh and point at you. The worst thing that will happen is that the person says no and you move on. That’s it!
Staying confident
Confidence is the name of the game when going on a date. If you want to ask someone out, don’t think about it…just do it! When the confidence level is high, you will be able to take things lightly and will be able to hide your panic. Just remember that you are a great person and that others will see it too if you let them.
Some fear shock therapy…
If you really want to get over your fears about approaching people, go to the mall and talk to every person that passes by. Sure you may have to go in the bathroom and puke your brains out a couple times from all the nerves, but after a few people, you’ll get the hang of it. Heck, it may even be fun after awhile! Just give it a shot and see if the fear doesn’t at least somewhat go away.
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