No matter how wonderful your boyfriend may be there are going to be situations that will compel him to lie to you. Stretching the truth every once in a while over small issues (this excludes big issues like cheating) doesn’t need to lead to the demise of your relationship, as long as he learns that it’s not okay to lie. If you think your man might be guilty of fibbing, take a look at this list of ways to get him to tell you the truth.
Don’t Interrogate Him
If you make him feel like he’s on trial then he is going to get defensive. He is immediately going to start thinking of excuses for what he has (or hasn’t) done, and he’s going to become increasingly defensive. If you suspect that he is lying then casually bring up a topic related to the lie and start from there. If he doesn’t think that you’re going to attack him then he is much more likely to just admit that he made a mistake.
Avoid Certain Cliché Statements
If you really want him to tell you the truth then you have to avoid certain statements: "I promise I won’t be mad at you," "If you lie to me I am going to be more angry than if you just admit it," etc. If you promise that you’re not going to be mad at him then he is going to know that he is entering no-man’s-land, and that he has no chance of winning. If you need to inform him that you’re not going to get mad then he is going to get scared and walk on egg shells (and then you’ll never get the whole truth). Telling him that you’re going to be even MORE angry at him if he lies tells him that either way you’re going to be mad at him, and he doesn’t want to deal with your wrath.
Don’t Make Him Regret Telling You
Unless the situation is a serious and unforgivable one, try to go easy on him if he comes clean. If you show him that you’re not going to grill him for telling you the truth then he won’t feel the need to lie to you in the future – he will see that you can handle the truth, and you’ll be cool about it. This is not to say that you should let him get away with everything just because he straight out tells you that he screwed up, but give him a break so that he doesn’t regret telling you the truth.
Reiterate the Importance of Honesty
Make it clear to your man that honesty is a crucial part of your relationship, and you couldn’t be in a relationship with no trust. Tell him this during a time when you’re not fighting but feel free to repeat it when you think he’s lying to you. You don’t want to tell him straight out that you’re going to dump him if he lies (you don’t want him to think you’re threatening him), but you should definitely make it clear that you won’t tolerate dishonesty.
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Confused / Woman / Likes Men / Single
in the beginning then my boyfriend and i talked like everyday. then about 5 months in then the calls started slacking off a little like maybe hear from him like 6 days now its like when he is off work then i hear from him once a week and only hear from him before he goes to work or gets off. i miss the way we use to be any advice on how i can tell him that i miss talkin without him gettin mad. to make things harder we live 3 hours away..
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