You see it in the movies: an evil, merciless monster that wrecks husbands and wives apart. You’ve heard it from your best friend who just got married: that loathsome, cold devil who always picks and disagrees on her choices and decisions and makes her look like a wrong or bad wife almost all the time. You try to shake it off your head and regard it as taboo, but the problem is, it’s only been four weeks after your wedding, and your mother in law’s perception of you doesn’t look good at all after you served her that shrimp casserole a week ago, which turned out to give her allergic reactions and made her itch all the time.Mother in laws have always been perceived to be your arch enemy. It has been in married life’s history that your mother in law will always get in the way, disregard your opinions and fight for the attention or trust of your husband. However, this may not always be the case, you can always turn things around and instantly make your mother in law your closest girl friend ever. You just simply need to get her notice your good points.
Showing your mother-in-law respect
Show her that you respect her and at the same time that you will not take her son away from her side. It is without question that your mother in law loves your husband to great extents and she could somehow think of you as a rival to her son’s affection. I know you love to spend time with your guy, but do not occupy all the slots in his free time. Your mother in law probably wants to spend time with her son too. Why not bring your mother in law along to different trips or picnics to show her that you like spending quality time with her?
Finding a common ground with your mother-in-law
Know what common interests or hobbies you and your mother in law share alike. Ask your husband or research a little and ask your mother in law for some fun girl bonding when she has some free time. Even if your mother in law and your interests doesn’t jive together, try to look interested. Bring her to the stamp museum if she’s an avid stamp collector. Give her a pot of lovely flowers to add to her gorgeous garden. Buy her a book that she would like and probably bring her to a book reading club once a week. Find out what tickles her fancy and fill it.
Presenting your best traits to your mother-in-law
Bring your best foot forward. Cook your award winning spaghetti with meatballs and bring some to your mother in law, don’t forget to garnish it and use a special container, this way she will know how good of a cook you are, that you will not get her son malnourished by eating frozen microwavable foods everyday and that she will feel that she is somehow important or special to you. If she is a great cook herself, ask about her special recipe. Buy some ingredients and spend a few afternoons cooking with her. This provides both quality time and chances to improve her impressions of you.
What NOT to do
Do not talk about her behind her back. You may think that she won’t know, but you can’t always guarantee that. Even though you and your mother in law don’t always agree with everything, like the cozy rug in your living room that she finds ridiculous, always respect her and what she says. Don’t go blabbering about your disagreements to your girl friend or worst, your husband. He might actually bring the subject up to your mother in law and in the end, make you look worst in her eyes than ever before. If you are really offended or bothered, try soothing things out between you and your mother in law. Don’t raise your voice just to prove a point. Talk to her as if she is your own mother. It is always better to talk about issues and try settling it with your mother in law, rather than gossiping about her to your talkative neighbor and letting the gossip find its way to her eventually.
Loving her son to show love to your mother-in-law
Love her son unconditionally and irrevocably. The best way to get your mother in law’s approval is by loving your husband. Show her how you care and attend to the daily needs and wants of your husband. Show her how you make your husband’s life happy, comfortable and complete. After all, the bottom line of her constant watch on you is just to make sure that you aren’t just too good to be true and that her son won’t regret his decision to marry you. Lastly, love your mother in law like you love your own mother. You can always break the norms and be at peace and harmony with her. Yes, it is possible to live a harmonious life with your in mother in law, as long as you be yourself.
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