So the hot flashes are about the only thing “hot” in your life right now. That’s definitely a bummer, but once you make it over that hill there are lots of things to look forward to, and one of them happens to be incredible, worry-free sex. Take the hot out of hot flashes and back into the bedroom – or wherever you decide to crank up the heat with that man of yours. It’s time to show him who’s back and in charge.
Learn about your new body
Reacquaint yourself with your body, anatomy, and sexual desires and functions; further, educate yourself on the changes that have occurred to your physical and emotional health during menopause. Things that were intimate or arousing before may not be so now, and there may be other things that will arouse you that did not in the past.
Experiment before trying to have sex
Play around with your body, spend some quality, one-on-one time, and learn what gets you going and what doesn’t. Masturbation, erotic videos, and sex toys might help you with this; alternately, include your lover while you both experiment and reinvent your sexual habits in and out of the bedroom.
Find something to put you in the mood
Distractions such as sexual movies, romantic music, and sex toys can help get you back into the swing of things. Also try using Kegal exercises while having sex and experimenting with new positions. Purchase reading material that gives you new ideas. Fulfill fantasies with your lover, go on aromatic getaways, and try having sex in different places outside of the bedroom.
Use a strip tease
Try a striptease with your lover, or buy new intimate lingerie that makes you feel and look sexy; this will likely help you get back in the saddle again. A great massage and bubble bath while using your fingers to stimulate your clitoris to get yourself hot and ready, followed by initiating oral sex with your lover, can also heighten your sexual desire.
Think about lubricants
Look into different lubricants, as after going through menopause you may experience slight pain and dryness that will require lubrication. Consider using scented and flavored lubricants to add another sensual layer to your lovemaking.
Set up the perfect day for sex
Don’t use all your energy on your job, the housework, the kids, or household responsibilities; rather, take a day and make it about you so that later that night your partner will make it on you. Relax, get that hot and sexy red dress out, have your hair, nails and wax done that day, and show that man in your life that you mean business and expect him to bring his “A” game. Remind him that you are not fragile; you won’t break. This means you take the initiative, tease him, and give him what he wants just enough to the point where you have his attention. Let him know that when you feel sexy you want sex. Light the candles, turn on the music, and kick the kids out. If you’re going to be wearing an apron, be sure it’s the only thing you’re wearing when he gets home – and that you’re waiting…anywhere but the bed. He may not initially know what to think, but you need to guide him along the way. Experiment together!
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