“Fling.” Even the word sounds about fun. But deciding to have and properly conducting one means more than cheesy romantic comedies set on the beach or in the big city or at summer camp might lead you to believe. Having a fling is for the fun of heart but not the faint at heart.
Set the guidelines for the fling
Decide what your ground rules are, if any. Are you both aware and do you both agree that this is a fling? You need to be on the same page, because differing levels of commitment will make a fling fizzle faster than faulty fireworks. Also decide if you have any expectations, or are you committed to the fact that this is a fling and a fling only? In other words, having a fling means there are no strings attached, and you both need to be aware of this from the outset.
Figure out who you should tell
Are you going to share the fact that you’re having a fling with your friends, or is this a for your information only kind of thing? Remember that while discretion might be the better part of valor, gabbing about your passing passionate encounters with your friends might be half the fun.
Pick the right fling partner
If you’re positive that you want to keep this relationship in the realm of the temporary tryst, make sure you choose someone who comes with a built-in expiration date that more resembles that of a gallon of milk than of a fine wine. While you don’t want things to go sour too early, you also don’t want to risk a tryst that might get better with age if you’ve already decided you’re not making a long term investment in the relationship.
Have a little fun
It’s also worth noting that part of the definition of the word fling includes the phrase “a period devoted to self-indulgence.” Once you’ve agreed to ground rules, give yourself permission to have fun. It is possible to get into a groove with another person without laying the foundation for a future relationship, although you might have to find that “off switch” in your brain if the concept of a fling is new to you. This is a great time to flex your flirting skills and practice the art of seduction without worrying about embarrassing yourself; after all, if your banter bombs, you weren’t in it for the long haul anyway.
If the fling involves sex…
If your fling includes fornication as well as flirting (and most of them do), make sure you practice super safe sex. Remember the part about no strings attached? If there’s accidentally a strong that would more accurately be described as an umbilical cord, you screwed up just as much as you got sexed up. Reliable birth control is an absolute must.
How to end the fling
It’s ideal to end a fling before it fizzles out itself, so it’s a good idea to have an exit strategy. You can either maximize your time together and end the fling abruptly while you’re still on an emotional high, or you can taper off slowly knowing that you took advantage of the time you had together.
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