Internet dating, just like anything else, has its ups and downs. Some people find huge success in it, while others are best left to date in the “real world.” But a question still remains about whether or not internet dating is good or bad overall, and why has it become so popular? And furthermore, why do some people avoid such dating altogether? Let's investigate…
The bad side of internet dating
The worst part about internet dating is essentially the fear of the unknown. The internet is not secure, and most people online portray themselves in an untrue matter. We’ve heard a lot of horror stories of Internet dating gone bad, where people thought they were meeting Jenna Jameson and what they got was Judge Judy. Not to mention the stories of the people being stalked by their obsessed internet date. Those are the scary ones. Even a person who gives out no identifying information can still be tracked through their computers. Those are the risks of the internet in general though.
On a more emotional level, the internet takes the courtship out of a typical relationship. Romantic words can only go so far. It’s hard to woo someone through AOL instant messenger and gmail. No matter how poetic and sincere a person may be, technology has a tendency to strip most everything of it’s beauty and bring it back down to a fundamental level.
The good side of internet dating
Internet dating is one of the best things that the Internet has given us because it gives people a much greater range of dating possibilities. People can literally carry on a relationship across the world, something that they would have never been able to do on the phone or in person. There are so many people to choose from that the chances of having a good relationship are much greater. When there are more people to talk to, there are more instances of compatibility and therefore more opportunities to find a suitable partner.
Most internet dating sites also take the work out of dating. Instead of having to go to a bar or a club, a person can simply fill out a profile and wait for matches to show up. It’s a bit of the lazy man’s style of dating, but it is nevertheless effective.
So which is it, good or bad?
Really, it’s not a matter of whether or not internet dating is good or bad, but rather if it works for you. Not everyone will find “the one” online, but some people really do. If you plan on meeting someone online, don’t expect a fairy tale ending, but don’t rule one out either. At the very least, its worth a shot if in the end you find the partner of your dreams. If you are really fond of the internet, really busy, really bored, really lonely (get the point), or all of the above, then you should REALLY consider signing up for a few internet dating sites. There are some things you can do to improve your overall internet dating experience, and prevent yourself from moving into that “bad” dating zone.
Knowing who you’re talking to online
On a person’s profile, you’ll see some basic information about them. Online dating sites usually have a very specific set of profiles for users. They say the person’s age, location and even hobbies. This gives you a chance to see if they’re interesting enough to start a conversation with. Sure, it’s a shot in the dark as to whether or not the info is true, but if you talk to the person a few times, you should know if they’re lying or not. As them specific questions related to their profile and see how long it takes them to respond. This is bet done in an instant message setting where people have to answer at a moments notice. Figure out if their answers seem legitimate , and see if they are just making it all up.
You also need to realize that a picture is not worth a thousand word in internet dating. Half the people out there use fake picture on their profiles, so if you want to know who you’re talking to exactly, request more pictures than just that one. Don’t fall for the “I don’t have any good ones” line. If they can’t reveal who they really are, then they probably shouldn’t be trusted.
Keeping yourself safe online
Just like when you’re in a bar, it’s not a good idea to tell someone where you live when you’re just starting to talk to someone. Don’t reveal too much too quickly, or you could end up in quite a scandal. After a few encounters, you can start to reveal yourself a bit more, but don’t shout out your address in the first email. If you’re comfortable enough with the situation, feel free to talk on the phone. This will be less risky than a face to face encounter, and it will help you pick up on the person’s true character.
Scheduling a meeting
Don’t schedule anything until you’ve talked with the person on the phone and you truly feel safe. Arrange a meeting once you’re basically friends with each other. It’s a good idea to do it in a public place like in a mall or a coffee shop. This will help protect you in case your date is crazy (and some of them are). The more people around you, the easier it will be to talk without worrying about your own safety. You can even arrange a group date to lessen the pressure and maintain the safety. As long as you stay smart about it, you can have a great relationship online and in person afterwards.
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