There is nothing more embarrassing than asking someone out and finding out that they prefer to go out with someone of their own gender. It’s embarrassing enough to get rejected, let alone when you get rejected because you couldn’t figure out their sexuality. You’ll likely get laughed right out of the club (or if you’re really oblivious, the gay bar). To save you and that person from this uncomfortable situation, here are some signs to look out for so you would know firsthand if they are gay or not:
Watching the person’s body language
Determining a person’s sexuality through his/her body language may seem tricky. But if you know where to look and what look for, their actions and mannerisms will surely give out some clues whether they’re gay or not. With men, look for somewhat effeminate actions, and with women, look for a more manly persona.
Listening when they talk
Straight men and gay men usually have a huge vocabulary gap that is not that hard to notice. Gay men have their own lingo when they talk. You just have to listen close and listen hard. Lesbian are a little bit harder to distinguish, but while you’re listening, you can maybe pick up clues about their sexual preference.
Noting their reaction with an attractive person walks by
When the opportunity strikes, watch how he or she reacts when someone attractive walks by or is near them. Straight guys will definitely check out a beautiful woman and will probably notice her breasts or butt. However, a gay man will most probably check out her shoes or purse or her fashion. On the other hand, straight women will smile and secretly check out that cute guy who walked by. Lesbians will not care and will probably tune their attention to the girls in the room.
Knowing their circle of friends
Birds of a feather flock together, right? Though this is not always true, usually there is something to be said about people hanging out with others of their own beliefs. Gay people usually hang out with gay people. There is just a different kind of security when you hang out with people of your kind. There is better understanding among each other and more support is offered with the other.
Taking note of the person’s interests and beliefs
Strike up some meaningful conversation with that person and let your conversation delve on homosexuality. Contrary to popular belief, gay people who are striving to appear straight will probably oppose same sex relationships so as to convince everyone that he/she is not one of them. But in order to validate his/her answer, don’t be afraid to ask what caused his strong opposition about the subject. If that person will be able to justify his/her cause, then let them off the hook. However, if you notice that he/she suddenly becomes aloof and tries to abruptly change the subject, you should start getting worried.
Noticing his/her attention to detail, especially small ones
Straight men are not actually known for their strong attention to details—unless they have OCD. But you can trust gay men to fuss over such small details like a misplaced vase in a house, wrong color of shoes or belt, unbuttoned shirt, crinkled shirts, bitten thumbnails, etc. Maybe test out something that you wear or misplace something on a date and see what reaction you get.
Just ask if they’re gay!
There is no better way than finding out if a person is gay or not than asking them directly, but only do this if you’ve known the person for quite some time. Remember to keep it as casual as possible and don’t sound as if you’re accusing them of a crime. Let him/her know you understand and mean it. Don’t lure them into telling you their real sexuality only to throw it back at them if you didn’t like their answer. Be understanding and see what kind of new relationship you can develop with the person.
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