Most people have found themselves attracted to a person who was less mature and/or younger than they are at some point in their lives. If the attraction develops into a relationship, the question of whether or not to extend that relationship to one that is sexual in nature is likely to come up at some point. But knowing whether or not your potential partner possesses the emotional maturity to deal with a physical relationship means putting serious thought and consideration into this next step, as well as discussing it openly with your significant other.
Legal Considerations
The first consideration should be about the legal restraints regarding your less-mature partner. All states have laws in place regarding a minimum age at which a person can consent to sexual intercourse. If you engage in sexual activity with a person who is younger than the established age you can be prosecuted as a sex offender – regardless of whether or not the other person has clearly consented and you agree that he or she is mature enough to handle a sexual relationship.
Personal Considerations
It’s also wise to ask yourself why you’re interested in having sex with this person. Are you looking to get down and dirty with someone (anyone?), or are you interested in this person specifically? If your partner chooses not to have sex with you, will you to break off the relationship? Are you attracted to this person emotionally and mentally as well as physically?
Maturity Considerations
Partner’s Intelligence:
Assuming your potential partner is of legal age to consent to sex, you must still determine if he or she is mature enough from a cognitive standpoint. For instance, let’s assume that the legal age for sexual consent in your state is 18. Even if your potential partner is old enough to agree to sex, he or she may not have the intellectual capacity to make that decision. In many states there are additional laws in place to protect people who have cognitive developmental delays or incapacities (i.e., the mentally handicapped), but if these laws do not exist in your area you are still responsible for determining if you would be taking advantage of the person’s attraction to you or diminished mental capacity by initiating a sexual relationship.
Partner’s Emotional Maturity:
Again, the fact that a person can legally consent to sex does not mean that he or she is necessarily equipped to have a sexual relationship. You must also determine the emotional maturity of your potential partner, since sex is just as much mental as it is physical for most people. This is especially true of people who are inexperienced. Here are some questions to ask yourself in relation to your likely lover that will help you determine if he or she possesses the
emotional maturity for a physical relationship:
Can he/she cope with the potential consequences (eg., pregnancy)?
Is he/she ready for that kind of intimacy?
Will he/she be comfortable with being seen in the nude as well as touched in sexual ways?
Is he/she willing to pursue a sexual relationship simply because he/she wants to maintain the romantic relationship and not disappoint you?
Is he/she comfortable with talking about sex?
1 Reply
Tongueman / 56 / Man / Likes Women / Single
When deciding if your partner is ready for sex one should never just assume that the level of maturity is the only factor holding someone back from becoming comfortable with talking about sex. There are also religious and cultural reasons for people to come to believe that sex should never be talked about and it is some thing they will eventually do with a spouse to conceive children. Some people never become able to talk about sex at all while others may only be able to openly talk about sex with people of one gender while they are totally unable to talk about sex with the other gender. One needs to understand that this results in the potential that someone with the maturity to be ready for sex in all other areas to have a diffcult time getting comfortable with talking about sex with their partner.
One must also be aware that if a person has been raised in an environment were sex was never to be discussed they may have been "programmed" to believe either that all people are sexually compatible with potential partners from birth or they will automatically or magically become sexually compatible with their spouse during the wedding ceremony or honeymoon. Often times this is the result of being raised by parents that had trouble openly talking about sex themselves or it could have been done intentionally by the parents under the belief that if the parents talk openly about sex it will increase the likelyhood their child will experiment with sex while if they create the environment were their child has the least possible exposure to sex it will reduce the likelyhood of their child becoming sexually active prior to marriage.
If your prospective partner was "programmed" to remain a virgin until marriage or to believe sex is never to be talked about with anyone other then their doctor and spouse you have additional considerations. Depending on how strongly these thought processes are ingrained into who your perspective partner is sexually and how deeply they were "programmed" to believe the only reason to have sex is to make babies this type of molding of their thought processes relating to sex is very likely to reduce the potential likelyhood they will partake in "recreational sex." This type development of a person's veiwpoint on sex goes hand and hand with the development of the person into someone that is likely to believe the "normal sex drive or frequency for sexual activity" is lower than the person whom has mostly been in environments were sex is not something to be kept hidden. This is all part of the reasons why everyone has different views on what is "normal sexual behavoir."
If your partner meets the above "maturity tests" in all areas but the ability to be comfortable discussing sex you should consider the potential you may never be "sexually compatible" with that person and it will likely be better to work this out prior to starting sexual intercourse with your perspective sexual partner as any delay in addressing this issue is only likely to make addressing it harder later.
Add your reply to 1291939387