You think that you have thoroughly explained yourself numerous times but he just won't get it – does this sound familiar? Men and women have different ways of communicating and sometimes conversations between the sexes get lost in translation. If you feel like he just never listens to you, take a look at these ways to get him to really hear what you're saying.
Cut To The Chase
Although you might feel like there is important background information to provide him, give him the punch line right away. Men want to know the point of the story right away and they are fine getting the background info afterwards. You should follow this same method if you're explaining to him why you're angry – tell him what you're angry about and then follow up with why you're angry. If you explain the steps detailing up to what you're angry about and THEN you say what it is, you're going to lose him way before you get to the most important part.
Don't Use Subtext
Women are famous for saying, "It's fine..." when it is obviously not fine, but this is not a good way to make him hear what you're saying. Men understand what you say but chances are they will not catch on to what you don't say. No matter how well you're hinting that you want some steamy foreplay tonight, you want to try a different position, or you're not really in the mood at all – he probably won't get it unless you just tell him. If he asks you if you're cool with him going out with the guys one Saturday night and you mumble, "Go ahead," in that not so happy voice, you can't be mad at him for thinking that it was okay to go. The longer that you're with your man the more he will begin to understand your subtext, but sometimes you have to realize that you're hard to read. Rather than constantly hinting at what you want, just tell him so that there is no chance of misinterpretation.
Act On What You Say
If you constantly threaten to do something but you never actually do it then he is going to think that you don't mean what you say; therefore, he won't be able to hear what you're really trying to tell him. For instance, if he shows up late to every date and you tell him that next time you're going to leave, actually do it! He will never understand that it's not okay to do what he's doing if you don't show him. There are minor situations like him showing up late and then there are extreme ones like him cheating on you; if he cheats and you decide to give him ONE more chance, you better stick to that one chance – otherwise he will think he can stray whenever he wants to and you'll never leave. This doesn't mean that you should threaten him after every fight that you get in, you should be fair and rational about what you say you're going to do.
Don't Attack
If he did something that bothers you or you just want to tell him something, don't jump on him like a guerilla attack. If he thinks that you're accusing him of something then he is going to switch into a defensive mode, and he will focus more on defending his argument than listening to what you're saying. It's better to approach an issue in a calm and casual way so that he does not think that he's in the hot-seat. If he thinks you're just discussing something then he is more likely to hear your point than if you start screaming at him.
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