You can’t deny the satisfying qualities of a quickie, but sometimes in the bedroom you want the slow burn that tantalizes and titillates without a deadline. There are multiple positions and techniques you and your partner can experiment with to prolong your lovemaking whether you’re addressing the issue of premature ejaculation or simply want to savor one another.
Don’t worry about the sex
The first thing you’ll need to do is think positively to ensure you don’t “fake yourself out,” as we said in middle school. Worrying whether or not you’ll be able to sustain sex for an extended length of time is precisely the kind of mental mind trick that will distract you so badly that you won’t be able to go the distance. Remind yourself that this time it’s not about the destination but rather the journey.
Keep the foreplay going
That said, you will need to stay in tune with your own body as well as your partner’s. When you become aware that your arousal level is elevating significantly, gently let your partner know so the stimulation doesn’t become so overwhelming that you reach the point of no return, especially if you’re engaging in mutual masturbation. Also, note that it’s easier to prolong sustained sexual activity when you focus on forging ahead with foreplay rather than trying to prolong penetration.
Set a slow mood
You can also try setting the mood in such a way that the atmosphere of the room is conducive to a slower, more sustained approach. A blasting Black Sabbath bass line throbbing throughout the room isn’t going to do either of you any favors, after all. Create ambience with soft lighting and lyric-free, gently flowing music. While the mellow song stylings of Kenny G probably won’t put you in the right place, you can surely find some mood music that fits the bill.
Positions to help sex last
Once you progress to penetration, there are several positions that tend to make sex last longer if it’s between a man and a woman. The options with which the most men find success in sustaining sex is the missionary position. The cowgirl also seems to help in prolonging lovemaking. However, be aware that if you find this position particularly exciting otherwise because you enjoy the sensation of the female taking control, you’ll need to approach it differently during this sex session and think of it as an opportunity for the man to concentrate on reigning in his own desire rather than multi-tasking by trying to please her and himself simultaneously.
Go through a withdrawal period
Most couples find that practicing coitus interruptus (also known as “withdrawal” or the “pull-out method”) is a helpful technique for prolonging passion, especially if they wait to resume until the strongest sensations and desires have significantly faded. This is an especially effective method for couples who are dealing with the issue of premature ejaculation. However, please note that none of these techniques or positions will have much effect if the man is suffering from erectile dysfunction, which is a medical condition for which the man should seek treatment.
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