No matter how much you love your partner, or how much you believe they love you, at the first suspicion of infidelity your thoughts go racing a mile a minute and you start picturing all sorts of scenarios ranging from the quite believable to the utter bizarre. And when endless hours of speculating and hoping it isn’t so, and after plotting and scheming if, in fact, it is, becomes a useless exercise, the next best thing to do other than phoning Cheaters, is going through their stuff.
Do it when they are away
Obviously the first thing to do to go about this is to make sure they are not at home. And by this I mean quite far from home and not at the next door neighbors or the corner shop. Too many times it has happened when you are merrily rummaging through their clothes hoping to find someone else’s underwear and they promptly return with a “Honey I forgot to ask you if you wanted to come with me!” so make sure they are well away and you’ve stated that you do, in fact, want to stay home and catch up with some reading.
Know how long you have
When they have left and have been away for some time, make sure they are not on the way back already. Phone them with the pretence of wanting to know where they are because if they are anywhere near a shop you sure would like some beef jerky. Only if you are certain they are not going to barge in through the front doors do you begin to even think about going through their stuff.
Lock the doors!
It is also advisable to lock all the doors. You never know when their best friend might stop by to pay them a surprise visit only to find you knee deep in old high school photographs with a very guilty look on your face. And even if the doors are locked, make sure the TV and radio are switched off because it has happened before that even though you thought the coast was clear and she was far away visiting her parents 200 miles away, she decides to lie about her location just to come and surprise you – so make sure you will hear that door open.
The actual snoop
Now, when all is safe and the house is quiet, you begin your quest. Take pictures of everything you are about to disturb to make sure you can put everything back exactly like you found it. This is crucial as some people, no matter how much of a disarray things appear to be in, will know if even a dust mite has moved its location. Thus, when you are lifting up something, hold it at a strict 180 degree vertical so that you can put it down in the exact spot. If you are going through drawers, if you don’t have a photographical memory, trust me, take pictures with your cell phone camera and make sure everything is as it was. If you are going through a stack of papers never remove just one to look at it without holding its place with the other hand. And for goodness’ sake don’t be eating or drinking something while you are doing it, the chances of getting a fright at the smallest of noise and spilling something is very good for a person doing something he or she isn’t supposed to.
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