Some people are not in the dating game to win the prize but merely to enjoy playing the game. These “players” can sometimes be exploitative and cause a lot of problems for those who are genuinely looking for someone to spend a life with. The damage can be limited if you know how to spot them. In the dating game, such people are looked upon almost as garden pests but as with all things, there are certain situations where a player will find his or her counterpart; aka another player to play with! If you aren’t a player yourself, there are some things you’ll want to look for to make sure you don’t end up with one. Here are some helpful tips…
Watching the player from afar
Take a good look around any social scene, whether it is a night club or a party or a barbecue. The venue will not matter to a player as they will always cruise the area looking for potential fun, chatting to this person and then to that person but never really getting into a conversation where something meaningful might be learned about others. Watch people all the time and see if you notice one person that seems to be making more than their fair share of rounds. Being overly socialized is the first sign of being a player. Chances are they will be asking for phone numbers and email addresses indiscriminately and likely admiring their own reflection in the nearest mirror or window.
The player appearance
A player will always be sensitive to his (or her) own appearance and super critical of everyone else. Try talking to someone and see what they say about your clothing. As soon as the conversation opens, a player will make some remark about your clothes or about your figure, very complimentary and designed to tuck you nicely into place with any other people collected that day, rather like a grisly hand of cards. Don’t be fooled by the compliments. Look beyond that and try to figure out what his true intentions are.
The player conversation
You can tell a person is a player by the way he talks too. A player will tell you very little about themselves but always grill you for private details about your own life. Try to pry out as much information as possible and see how he reacts. Don’t fall for the line “Hey, let’s not talk about me, I’d rather hear about you…” That figures largely in their repertoire and if you hear someone using this phrase liberally, run a mile!
Busting the player
A player will usually refer to girlfriends or boyfriends in the present tense. This is designed to let you know that a) the player is highly popular and has other human beings to spend time with, and b) it is unlikely that you will have the questionable honor of enjoying the player’s company exclusively because he or she does not like to commit to one person. To bust a player, you have to act uninterested in their ploys. Player egos deflate instantly if you remark quietly, “That must be nice for you…” and absently wander away to demonstrate that not only are you disinterested, you find the conversation boring. Show the player that he can’t win you over. Players are always floored by being ignored.
The reformed player
Players are people too and sometimes a serial player can reform and become a normal, grounded character, usually after meeting someone who is also a player and who taught them a lesson in how badly players can hurt if you form an attachment for them. Until that time, you can have fun spotting them in a crowded room without leaving yourself open to being exploited.
Add your reply to AskMyGF