One of the most stressful moments in a relationship is the after-breakup part. Usually, the reason of the separation is rooted on a reconcilable issue. The relationship thereafter diminishes depending on the degree of pain that issue has caused both parties. Strained relationships leave some emotional wounds that may take some time to heal. Among the ultimate causes of break-up is cheating. The anger and hurt of the cheated party could be destructive and sometimes it takes a lifetime to heal oneself from that ugly past. But it could also be possible that healing could be faster if the parties involve help themselves. Escaping is never a recommendation for moving on. Psychologists even suggests a confrontation of the issue because they say it is the only way to free oneself from the bondage of regret, anger and doubt. Escaping does not solve anything, most especially when meeting your ex is inevitable - say you go to the same school, work in the same place, live in the same building, share a business or have children. If you keep on harboring the past you’ll go nowhere but misery or worse, you are left all by your pathetic self. So, why stay at the bottom of the tank and content yourself with darting hateful glances on the object of your misery enjoying the abundance of food at surface of the water? There is even a better way than to pretending in front of your ex that your are okay when in fact what goes on in your mind spells disaster. Here are some tips that may help you befriend your ex again:
Look to the past as a guide
Don’t forget everything in the past - how can you, especially if you have “souvenirs” like kids to take care of? But whether you are obligated or not to associate with him or her, you still need “ingredients” in the past to nurture a friendship not for anyone else but for yourself. You’ll find that your renewed relationship with your ex as friends will lighten up your heart.
Quite simply, get over it!
Accept that past is past. One requirement of reconciliation is putting the past behind. If both parties can do this they can move on and start a genuine friendship. Many ex-lovers succeed by being friends. For some, they become better persons when they are together as friends.
Figure out where your new relationship is
Be mindful the state of relationship that you have now. Sometimes ex-lovers-now-friends forget to drop the habit. They tend to forget the boundaries of their current relationship, creating confusion with their current relationships. Even if you know better what your ex needs, it is best that you keep your hands off and let others take care of it.
Accept people’s reaction to the friendship
Embrace the current relationship. There are times that you feel awkward around the new girl or guy, or family. Going inside their lives may be a little difficult, especially when there is a convergence of the past and present. Sometimes friends and ex-in-laws tend to react on certain ways that may trigger some uncomfortable moments. This could be a delicate task, but with determination and help from your ex, this could be a success.One has to remember that every effort to stay friends with your ex starts with your personal decision to let go and let live.
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