Although spending quality time together is a vital part of any relationship, too much quality time can actually counteract your feelings causing you to feel smothered. However, try to explain to your boyfriend/girlfriend how you are feeling can be a delicate situation. Well, here are a few tips that may help this conversation go a little smoother.
Pick the right time for the discussion
You should try to sit down with your partner at a time when both of you are relaxed and not doing other tasks. Gauge his/her mood as well. If your mate has had a rough day at work, you might just make it worse by telling him/her that you want to spend less time together. In this particular circumstance, timing is everything. If you time your conversation right, both you and your partner should walk away filling satisfied and still very much together. So, with just a little forethought on your partner, you can avoid an empending fight.
How to explain yourself about how much time you spend together
The best personal tool you can use in this situation is tact. The purpose is not to break up with your partner, but to have time away from your partner to pursue what you want. You should definitely explain this to your partner. You may have to give lots of reassurance that you still want to be with him/her. Explain as delicately as you can that you are not saying this to hurt him/her or because you want to start dating other people. You very simply need some time to yourself occasionally. If necessary, adding specific days that the two of you will hang out is sometimes helpful to ease his/her mind. Discuss with your partner which days you will want time to yourself and which days will be spent with quality time. Work together to find an arrangement that is agreeable to both of you.
Set some limits on your time
You will also need to set boundaries for these days. It will defeat the purpose of spending quality time with yourself, if you spend the majority of this time on the phone with your partner, texting him/her, or chatting on the internet. You should set the amount of time or number of times the two of you will be in contact on these days. Stick to your guns on this. If your boyfriend/girlfriend steps over the boundaries you have set, you will need to firmly and politely remind him/her that this is not his/her day for quality time.
Stay strong and get through the moment
This may be a difficult transition at first, but you will need to be strong and it will blow over. Also, without being hurtful, you may need to remind your partner several times of your need for personal space. Remember before you accidentally start an argument that you should be caring and loving in your treatment of each other. Respect is a vital part of any relationship. If this situation is handled respectfully, your partner should respond agreeably to it. You should also try to understand his/her need for quality time with you. However, he/she should respect your need for time to yourself.
Add your reply to AskMyGF