Particularly in today’s society, women are constantly feeling pressure to have sex. You probably feel like if you don’t have sex with your boyfriend then you’re going to be labeled a prude, and he will leave you. If you’re in a relationship with someone you care for but you’re not quite ready to take it to the next level, look at the list below for suggestions on “postponing” doing the deed.
Tell Him Straight Out
Even if you’re not a virgin that does not mean that you’re required to sleep with every boyfriend that you have. Sometimes men are under the impression that since you’ve already had sex then there’s no good reason not to have sex with him – wrong! If you tell him straight out that you’re not ready to take your relationship to that level, he should just accept that at face value. It’s your body and it’s your decision when you have sex, and who you have sex with. If he is not willing to wait then he is not worth your time.
Reassure Him
If your boyfriend is the sensitive and sentimental type then it’s important to reassure him of your feelings for him. You know that just because you’re not ready to have sex does not mean you don’t love him, but men have fragile egos and don’t understand that. Tell him something along the lines of, “Baby, I love you and I do want to be with you, but I’m just not ready yet.” This tells him that you care about him and you do want to take your relationship to that next level – just not yet! Not to mention, letting him know that you do want to eventually do it gives him something to look forward to.
Show Him Alternatives
You’re not required by any means to engage in any sexual activity if you don’t want to, but there are certainly alternatives to sex. If you’re not ready to actually have intercourse but you do want to be sexually intimate, you can get to that level in other ways. You guys can master the art of oral sex and you can incorporate toys, sexy lingerie, and other kinky ideas. Some men enjoy blowjobs just as much as they do intercourse. You can have a wild makeout session in the shower or on the couch. You can also have dry-sex or use your hands below the belt. Basically, let him know that just because you’re not ready for sex, that doesn’t mean you cannot pleasure each other in other ways.
Don’t Make a Timeline
If you know that you are not yet ready to have sex, don’t give him an estimation of when you think you’ll be ready. If you tell him a certain timeframe in which you will be ready then he is going to look forward to that time, and you’re going to feel pressure to do it. What happens if that time comes around and you’re not ready? If he asks you when you think you’re going to be ready to have sex, try to keep it lighthearted with something like, “I do not know… But when I do, you’ll be the first to know.”
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