Telling your friend that her boyfriend is a jerk is a dangerous situation because a girl will often take her boyfriend's side. If you don't tell her in a gentle manner then she might get offended and think that you're just trying to ruin her relationship. You must make sure that she understands that you're her friend and you want the best for her. If you have a friend that has a boyfriend that's a complete jerk, maybe these suggestions will help you.
Offer Advice
If your friend will be insulted by the truth then try to tell her in a way that seems as if you're just offering some advice. For instance, if her boyfriend cheated on her then tell her that you personally would never be able to trust him again and that you think history will repeat itself, but that you support her decision to stay with him if that's what she chooses. Let her know that it's likely that if she takes him back after he makes a serious mistake (like cheating) then he will probably do it again because he knows she will forgive him. Do not sugar-coat the fact that he is a jerk but do not tell her in a blunt way that will offend her.
Be Totally Honest
Unfortunately, women have a tendency to be naïve and blind when they are in love. This type of girl will make up every excuse in the book to cover up the fact that her boyfriend is a jerk, so you cannot beat around the bush. You must list his offenses and explain that his behavior is not okay, plain and simple. She must understand that her boyfriend will not ever change and that she can do much better. She might get mad at you for telling her that but the truth hurts – you're being a better friend by telling than if you just let it go. No matter what, make it clear that you're telling her because you are on her side and not because you want to upset her.
Tell Someone Close To Her
If you care for your friend but you don't feel close enough to tell her that her boyfriend is a jerk then try to get her best friend or her sister to tell her. If the news that he is a bad boyfriend comes from you she might get defensive, but if it comes from someone that is like family to her she might listen. You just have to make sure that you choose a person that will not tell anybody except for your friend, and he or she won't do anything to worsen the situation.
Writer Her a Letter
This might sound childish but sometimes it is easier to tell a friend that her boyfriend is a jerk through a letter, e-mail, or even an instant message. When you're talking face-to-face you do not have time to think about your words so you might unintentionally offend her, but if you're talking through text then you can think before to speak. Also, you might remember more information if you're writing it down than if you were just speaking.
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