The time has come in your life when your children are interested in members of the opposite sex. This will mean that the next step is “The Talk”. The decision you have to make at this point is, do you want you kids to learn on their own and probably not in the most appropriate or safest way, or do you want your children to know what to expect and how to make the right decisions. You should understand that you will not be able to protect your children from everything and everyone, but sending them out into the world with some information could help. Here are a few tips to help you talk to your kids about sex.
Be honest about sex
Kids are curious. They will want to know the truth also. If you don’t give it to them, they will find someone who will. So, without getting too graphic, be honest about what happens during and after sex. Talk to them about the emotional side of it as well as the potential bad things that could come from it. Tell your kids about the possibility for sexual transmitted diseases as well as unwanted pregnancy, but don’t try to scare them into abstinence. Try to remember that it is your job to be their bodyguard and tour guide through this extremely awkward period of their lives. Also, you have taught them right from wrong, just try to be secure in them making the right choice.
Be open about sex
Ask your kids questions and allow them to ask you questions. Answer them openly and honestly without judgment. Try to remember that this should not be an attack on the act of sexual intercourse. This should be a honest conversation. Also, some of their questions may be a little scary at first, especially if this is the first time you have had this conversation, but remember this is for your child’s benefit, not yours. Try not to seem intimidated by the topic. Your kids are probably equally as scared and awkward. So, stay calm and try to remember what it was like for you at their age.
Be supportive and calm
Remember this is not a chance to attack your child for a poor decision. This is the opportunity for you to educate your child on the act of having sexual intercourse as well as making sure they undersatnd the consequences. Try your best not to get upset, if your child informs you that they have already had sex or if they have already learned about sex from an outside party. Explain your feelings without judging your child. Explain in a calm manner that your would still like to talk to them about these actions. Remember that you are not the only person in this situation. This is in fact your child’s decision like it or not. You cannot change what has already happened, but maybe you can change what will happen in the future.
Final thoughts…
Overall, only you know your child well enough to know how to approach this delicate conversation, but as a parent we sometimes get clouded by our need to protect our kids. We may not like it, but our children are growing up and making their own decisions. This is the time when they need us the most. Our words of guidance may be just enough to help them make the right decision, whichever that may be.
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