To be totally and completely honest with you, there is a very good chance that your mother and father already have a slight if not significant inkling that you are gay. Face it, they have known you for well… your entire life. If they don’t know already, be prepared for a dramatic moment that may get emotional. Coming out to your parents is an enormous accomplishment and can take a lot of courage. This is not to say that being a homosexual is something to cause emotions… it is just to say that the news will come as a surprise to them if they don’t already suspect it.
Accepting that you’re gay before hand
The first step to sharing your news is to personally accept your sexuality and to run your plan of action through your head. Are you sure about and comfortable with your orientation? If you aren’t confident with you answer to this, then the idea of sharing this information needs to end here. Are you certain that you already have support from other people? Are you confident that your parents will be able to come to terms with it? Do you have the mentality to be patient? You really need to be able to answer yes to these questions before any further action.
Figuring out when and where to share the news
Before you decide to talk to them, you need to figure out the right time and place. Throwing it out there in a general conversation while you are out at the mall might not be the best idea – but it may just depend on who you are telling. Tell your parents that you want to spend some quality time together because you have some things to talk about. When they ask what, just say that it’s too long to explain at the moment.
Practicing how to tell your parents you’re gay
Tell a close friend or sibling first so the initial nervousness diminishes a little. If you haven’t told anyone about this yet, the whole idea of sharing can be nerve-racking. Practicing a little will give you a leg up and help you concentrate on the things you want to say. You can also use your friend for a little bit of role-playing where he or she is your parent. Deciding what to include and what to leave out will give you family some time to absorb the information. You will have plenty of opportunity to discuss details later.
Getting ready to answer questions about being gay
Don’t be opposed to questions. Your parents may be chalk-full of new inquiries, whether they be about the first time you realized that you were gay or if you have or have had a partner of the same sex. Part of the whole acceptance process is accepting the fact that you will be considered different. When people are considered different, they need to be able to provide some answers. Don’t worry about what they may say or about how they may react. If it is in a negative sense, they will get over it.
Giving your parents time to adjust
Give your parents as much time as they need to come to terms with what you are telling them. It most likely took you some time to accept your sexuality so don’t expect it to be any different for them. If they don’t give you the response that you were looking and hoping for, don’t be discouraged. First reactions aren’t always a permanent state of mind.
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